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The Goonies

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Image credit: The Goonies, 1985

As a child of the 1980s, I feel a certain responsibility to honor the inexplicable love my generation has for The Goonies (Disc/Download). I may have come along too late to really understand why this movie was and is such a big deal (I was only two when it premiered), but nevertheless, people still go nuts for this group of extremely loud kids and their Pacific Northwest pirate adventure. Let’s pour one out and deconstruct.

Conceived by Steven Spielberg, directed by Richard Donner, and written by Chris Columbus, this movie was practically guaranteed to be a blockbuster. These guys know storytelling. The fact that the plot is 100% ludicrous doesn’t really matter—we must keep watching to see if these kids can find the pirate treasure hidden under an Italian restaurant, escape the criminals trying to murder them, and save their family homes from foreclosure. Where things unfortunately fall apart for me is with the character of Sloth, which seems like a lame excuse for special effects and makeup in a movie that doesn’t really need them. I would even argue that we don’t need the Fratelli family at all—there’s enough action surrounding the booby-trapped treasure hunt to keep things exciting. The whole movie is one giant Rube Goldberg machine full of adventurous production design that makes you feel like you just played a game of chutes and ladders, under a steady PNW drizzle.

Having never seen this before in its entirety (I know, I KNOW!!), I was delighted to find so many tiki influences. The pirate ship, Chunk’s Hawaiian shirt, all the skulls and buried treasure—it’s like Don the Beachcomber died and went to Oregon. On that note, let’s try a cocktail that’s perfect while counting your doubloons, the Pearl Diver.

Pearl Diver

1 ½ oz Gold Puerto Rican Rum

¾ oz Demerara Rum

½ oz Gold Jamaican Rum

1 tsp Falernum

¾ oz Lime Juice

1 oz Orange Juice

¾ oz Gardenia Mix (people with more time on their hands might want to make their own. I am not that person)

1 cup ice

Fresh orchid (for garnish)

Combine all ingredients in a blender. Blend for about 15 seconds, then strain through a wire mesh into a Pearl Diver glass filled with fresh crushed ice. Garnish with orchid.

Even though I don’t hold an abiding love for The Goonies like a lot of people my age, I recognize its impact. It was a movie that appealed to the youth market, but adults could feel comfortable enjoying it too. Perhaps that’s what’s given it so much staying power— ‘80s kids may have grown up, but we’re still looking for an adventure. Cheers!