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The Witches of Eastwick

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witches of eastwick

Image credit: Witches of Eastwick, 1987

You know that feeling you get when the end credits are rolling on a particularly bizarre film, and you just sit, unblinking, trying to make sense of the last two hours? Such was my experience with The Witches of Eastwick (DVD/Download). Not having read any Updike before, including the novel this film was based on, I was wholly unprepared. What started out as a promising rom-com slowly morphed into a special-effects laden horror-fest, with a dash of surrealism. This one definitely needs some unpacking.

For the first twenty minutes, my take on The Witches of Eastwick was, “where has this movie been all my life???” Cher, Michelle Pheiffer, and Susan Sarandon sitting around, drinking martini’s, complaining about how there are no good men anymore- let’s just call this my ideal Saturday night.   They wish hard for the man of their dreams, not knowing that they’re actually a coven of witches.  Soon after, this mysterious stranger actually appears in the form of Jack Nicholson. And he’s a creep. And he has a teeny-tiny ponytail that’s distracting as hell. And he may or may not be the devil. But he has a mansion with an indoor pool, a healthy sexual appetite, and bowls of fresh cherries (we’ll get to that in a minute). So the three women do what dozens of Playboy Bunnies have done before and move in with the morally bankrupt old charmer. Despite a meandering plot and lack of character development, the performances of these three powerhouse actresses and the great Jack Nicholson basically playing Jack Nicholson, keep me watching long after the movie has gone down the proverbial drain.

One of the spells cast by the witches is a strange revenge on the local town prude. Instead of just poisoning her outright, Jack Nicholson urges his three girlfriends to eat pounds of cherries. Somehow this sanctimonious woman ends up with the cherry guts in HER stomach and well- things get messy. You’d think this would turn me off cherries for good, but I can’t resist that tart, sweet taste. Even better with some activated charcoal to make this the perfect Halloween cocktail. While watching The Witches of Eastwick, I recommend drinking a Black Cherry Martini.

Black Cherry Martini

1 ½ oz Vodka

½ oz Maraschino Liqueur

1 1/2 oz POM Cherry Juice

1/4 oz Lime Juice

1/4 tsp Activated Charcoal Powder

Combine all ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake until chilled, then strain into a chilled martini glass.

There’s definitely a lot to like about The Witches of Eastwick, and if you’re looking for a fun adult Halloween movie this year, this one is close to the top of my list. Despite the truly weird final act, it’s still fun to watch three women take a dance with the devil in the pale moonlight*. Cheers!

*wrong movie, still applies!

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Teen Witch

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Teen Witch

Image credit: Teen Witch, 1989

I’m not sure whether the How Did This Get Made? podcast is the greatest thing to happen to my Netflix queue, or the worst. It has shined a light on so many terrible (but somehow great?) movies I’d missed over the years, prompting me to turn off my normal taste barometers and see what all the fuss was about. Such was the case with this week’s film Teen Witch (DVD/Download).

Starring Robyn Lively as a teenager who discovers she has magical powers on her 16th birthday (which happens to coincide with Friday the 13th), this movie is half-John Hughes/half-80’s music video. Think sax solos, dry ice, teased hair, etc. I thought the weird musical number would be limited to just the opening credits, but no- it’s the whole damn thing (including one bizarre rap song “Top That” which I don’t totally get, but can’t look away from). Lively’s Louise is the classic smart, social reject yearning to be popular, and she achieves this goal by putting a spell on her high school classmates and wearing tighter clothes. Where Teen Witch really surprises me is with the character of her jock-hero obsession, who turns out to be a surprisingly good guy. Sure, he takes her to a sketchy abandoned house to fool around, but let’s not hold that against him. She seemed into it, rusty floor nails and all. Let’s just hope he came prepared with a CONDOM!

One of my favorite things about this movie is Zelda Rubenstein’s Madame Serena, the fortune teller/witch-guru. Totally adorable, she guides Louise through spells and potions, eventually helping her realize that she doesn’t need powers after all- she’s already pretty great. If I could be anywhere on Friday the 13th, it would be in Madame Serena’s lounge, mixing up something potent. While watching Teen Witch, I recommend drinking a Top That!

Top That!

1 oz Club Soda

2 oz Gin

¾ oz Lemon Juice

¾ oz Simple Syrup

¾ oz Blue Curacao

1 egg white

Fill a Collins glass 1/3 full with crushed ice, top with club soda, and set aside. Pour remaining ingredients into a shaker with no ice and shake vigorously for about 10 seconds. Add ice cubes and shake again until well-chilled and frothy. Strain into the prepared glass.

Top That

I know I shouldn’t like this movie, and yet, I totally do. It’s cheesy and dated and trite, but somehow that just makes it better. There’s enough romance and hormone jokes to appeal to my teen-movie sensibilities, and the out-of-focus, badly choreographed, slow-motion dance sequences are basically what’s been missing from my life. I dare anybody to top that. Cheers!

I Married a Witch

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I Married a Witch

Image credit: I Married a Witch, 1942

It’s October so you know what that means- scary movie time!! Except…. not so fast. While I understand that horror films are really entertaining to a lot of people, I’m just not one of those people. I prefer my supernatural/spooky with a side of comedy, maybe some romance. Therefore all month long I’ll be highlighting some wonderful witch movies that bring the laughs, charm, and plenty of love spells.

I first discovered this week’s film I Married a Witch (DVD/Download) while listening to my favorite podcast You Must Remember This. Karina Longworth’s Dead Blondes series included an episode on Veronica Lake, someone I’m ashamed to admit I’d never actually watched. Starting with this 1940’s gem about a witch who comes back to life to torment the ancestors of her Puritan oppressors was the perfect way to remedy that oversight. Veronica Lake is luminous and funny as the glamorous witch Jennifer, who makes the mistake of falling in love with her enemy Wallace Wooley. There’s a touch of Bewitched here, as Wooley grapples with his new wife’s powers, but in the end they realize that love is stronger than witchcraft.

Though Veronica Lake is the vessel for a witch’s soul, that soul also spends a good amount of time as a plume of smoke. Sometimes hanging out in liquor bottles, she and her dad plot their revenge on the Puritans mainly through voiceover. Maybe the smoke is supposed to give the viewers the chills- I’m not sure. But it did inspire this week’s cocktail. While watching I Married a Witch, I recommend drinking a Smoke & Mirrors.

Smoke & Mirrors

1.5 oz blanco tequila

1 oz Del Maguey Vida Mezcal

.5 oz ginger syrup

.5 oz lime juice

Shake all ingredients together over ice, then pour into a rocks glass with one large ice cube.

Smoke and Mirrors

This film may not be scary, but what it lacks in blood and gore it makes up for in supernatural spirit and beguiling magic. Who needs Freddie and Jason and all those other guys when you’ve got cocktails and Veronica Lake? Cheers!

Working Girl

working girl

Image credit: Working Girl, 1988.

To celebrate the 4th anniversary of Cinema Sips, this week I’ll be watching a classic ode to big hair and big dreams, Working Girl (DVD/Download).  Championing the idea that if you want to get ahead in life, you have to make it happen, this film is an inspiration to any woman who has ever dared to imagine she could crack the glass ceiling.  Or match her two-toned eye shadow to her jewelry.

As intelligent, hard-working Tess McGill, Melanie Griffith gets overlooked at work due to her Jersey accent, flashy clothes, and pretty face. She wants to make it in Mergers & Acquisitions (whatever the hell that is) but feels permanently stuck down in the secretarial pool. Enter Sigourney Weaver, a boss babe who seems supportive at first, but turns out to be a snake in Armani shoulder pads. Through some creative maneuvering, elocution lessons, and a flattering new haircut, Tess manages to pass herself off as someone who matters. The thing is- she had good ideas all along. She should have been taken seriously from the get-go. But sometimes when the rules are stacked against you, you have to make up new ones.

Along the way to the top, she meets Jack Trainer, delightfully portrayed by Harrison Ford. Talk about a female fantasy- he doesn’t talk down to Tess because she’s a woman, he values her ideas, and he offers her herbal tea when she gets drunk on tequila and valium. Maybe you’re in the mood for romance, or maybe you’ve just had a tough day at the office. In either case, I recommend watching Working Girl with some Lust & Tequila.

Lust & Tequila

1.5 oz silver tequila

3/4 oz lime juice

4 oz Mighty Swell Peach sparkling cocktail (or peach soda)

Topo Chico

Lime Twist

Build drink over ice in a highball glass, topping with Topo Chico.  Stir gently to combine, and garnish with a lime twist.

Lust and Tequila

As any working woman can tell you, making it happen is hard.  As I juggle a day job, a blog, a burgeoning career as a novelist, and that hungry beast called Social Media, I start to wonder if it’s all worth it.  The thing that keeps me going is the idea that someone out there might stumble onto this post and get SO EXCITED about drinking tequila while watching Working Girl.  Maybe it’ll bring a smile to their face.  Same goes for my books.  Finding a story that consumes me so much that I can’t put it down is one of my greatest joys in life. The dream of doing that for someone else is a big motivator.  Like Tess, if I keep pushing forward, some day I’ll get there.  Maybe Working Girl is a fairy tale, but it’s one I want to believe in.   Cheers!

Across the Universe

Across the Universe

Image Credit: Across the Universe, 2007.

As a teenager I was largely obsessed with everything Beatles-related (who am I kidding- I still am), so it comes as no surprise that I would adore Across the Universe (DVD/Download). Using the songs of Lennon and McCartney to tell the story of 1960’s-era star crossed lovers? Genius. Tapping director Julie Taymor to bring her signature visual-wonderland style to the project? Transcendent.

Across the Universe is essentially a patchwork quilt woven from Beatles song lyrics.  Heartsick Jude pines for Lucy, they survive the turbulent 60’s with a little help from their friends, dear Prudence sneaks in through the bathroom window, and in the end they realize that love is all you need. Through superbly choreographed songs, wildly creative set pieces, and heartfelt acting, the music of the Beatles truly comes alive. I feel every note, from Joe Cocker belting “Come Together”, to T.V. Carpio singing her heart-wrenching version of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”. It makes me understand the songs like never before.

One of the strongest symbols in the film is the strawberry, used to represent both the overt sexuality of the era, as well as the bloodshed of Vietnam. It’s a powerful and striking visual element. While watching Across the Universe, I recommend drinking a Strawberry Fields Martini.

Strawberry Fields Martini

1/4 cup strawberry juice (I used Naked Strawberry C Monster™)

1 oz cake vodka

Pink champagne

Fresh strawberry (for garnish)

Mix the strawberry juice and vodka over ice in a cocktail shaker, stirring until chilled. Strain into a martini glass, and top with pink champagne. Garnish with a strawberry.

strawberry fields

 

Despite an awful Mr. Kite musical number in the middle (honestly- wasn’t it bad enough we had to suffer through it on the Sgt. Pepper album??) Across the Universe is simply magical. So turn off your mind, relax, and float downstream- it is shining.  Cheers!

The Fugitive

The Fugitive

Image credit: The Fugitive, 1993

90’s nostalgia seems to be everywhere these days. I’ve recently been combing through my stacks of VHS tapes to find a piece of movie magic that captures the heyday of high-concept action films the decade was known for.  What did I land on? The Harrison Ford/Tommy Lee Jones thinking-man’s thriller The Fugitive (DVD/Download).

Adapted from the 1960’s TV series (my grandpa was a big fan), Ford plays Dr. Richard Kimball, a renowned surgeon falsely convicted of killing his wife (hey Sela Ward! Where ya been?). He knows it was a one-armed-man that did the deed, but proof, and the actual killer, are long gone. While being transported to prison, his bus gets hit by a train, allowing him to escape. Tommy Lee Jones plays the US Marshall tasked with finding him, and thus sets off a manhunt through Chicago as the lawman hunts the doctor, who is simultaneously hunting the one-armed-man. The film manages to condense a 4-season TV show quite well, and Harrison Ford plays the smartest prison escapee since Andy Dufresne.   Tommy Lee Jones might be searching every farm house, hen house, and outhouse in the tri-state area, but he’ll have to be clever if he’s going up against Dr. Richard Kimball.

I love that there are essentially two man hunts going on in this film, and kudos to finding THE SCARIEST looking villain in the history of cinema. Not only does Andreas Katsulas look like the reincarnated Bela Lugosi, but he’s also got an undeniably creepy mechanical arm. Not that all prosthetics are creepy, but combined with a gun and a trench coat, it gives me the shivers. So while you watch the hunted Richard Kimball hunt the one-armed-man, sip on a Manhunt.

Manhunt

2 oz Jameson Irish Whiskey

4 dashes lemon juice

1 tsp granulated sugar

1 splash sparkling water

1 maraschino cherry

Dissolve the sugar in lemon juice and water at the bottom of a Boston shaker. Add the whiskey, and fill halfway with ice. Stir to combine and chill, then pour into a tumbler. Garnish with a cherry.

Manhunt

While watching The Fugitive, keep a look out for blink-and-you’ll-miss-her Julianne Moore, back in the days before anybody realized she could act. This is the movie I’ll always associate with Tommy Lee Jones, and his rugged Texas accent. Even in the big city of Chicago, he’s still the top lawman in town. Cheers!

Auntie Mame

auntie mame

Image credit: Auntie Mame, 1958

For those ladies out there lucky enough to be an aunt, have I got a movie for you. In this 1958 Technicolor dream starring Rosalind Russell, Auntie Mame (DVD/Download) is a shining example of how fabulous life can be when you’ve got cocktails, a man servant named Ito, and an impressionable young relative looking to you for example. Do I strive to be the Auntie Mame in my own nieces’ lives? Showing them that “life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death”? You betcha.

I immediately knew I would love this movie as soon as I saw Rosalind Russell float across an art deco set in a sequined pantsuit, cigarette holder in hand. Her apartment is everything I’ve ever wanted in life, and what makes it even better are all the eccentric artists and intellectuals coming over to visit.  When Mame is forced to take in her orphaned nephew Patrick, you’d think that would put the kibosh on her wacky, wonderful lifestyle, but instead she manages to bring him along for the ride. In no time at all, he’s mixing a perfect martini and posits the question only the best bartenders know to ask- dry or extra dry?

When it comes to cocktail pairings, there is literally SO MUCH ALCOHOL in this movie. Faced with the impossible task of picking just one thing to drink, I decided to take a page from Mame’s book and step right up to the banquet. Therefore, if you’re watching Auntie Mame, you could drink Champagne, you could drink Spiced Rum and Dr. Pepper like poor Agnes Gooch, or one of Mame’s Martini‘s (recipe below). But for heavens sake, stay away from the honey-sweetened Upson Downs Daiquiri.

Mame’s Martini

3 oz Gin

1 oz Vodka

Dash Cocchi Americano

Lemon twist

Stir gin, vodka and Cocchi Americano over ice until chilled, then strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a lemon twist. (note: never use olives- it takes up too much room in the glass!)

Martini

As I cruise through the age of “so when are you going to have kids?”, I’m happy to throw up my Aunt status as proof that while I don’t want kids of my own, I don’t hate kids. My nieces are great! They’re fun, they play Barbies, they like purses, and at the end of the night their parents do all the heavy lifting. And when they get a little older, I’ll be waiting right there to show them how to navigate a bar cart and wear costume jewelry with confidence. Cheers!