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The Invisible Man

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The Invisible Man

Image credit: The Invisible Man, 1933.

For my final “man” film, I’ve chosen to reach all the way back to the 1933 James Whale classic, The Invisible Man (DVD/Download). Although considered by many to be one of the best early horror films, it’s not so much scary as it is fascinating. How the hell did they make Claude Rains invisible, with no computers or digital technology??  I’m still scratching my head.

Based on the novel by H.G. Wells, Rains plays a scientist who’s injected himself with a serum that causes both invisibility and dangerous psychosis. He’s got a soft spot for Gloria Stuart (hey, old lady from Titanic!!), but even that can’t save him from the monster inside. I must say, it’s terrifically creepy when he peels the bandage off his face to reveal an empty hole where a nose should be. And the maniacal laugh as he strangles his victims will haunt my nightmares for weeks.  In the end, I’ve decided the only thing scarier than a villain is the villain you can’t see.

What does mad scientist Dr. Griffin use to become invisible you ask? Monocane. Working with some British spirits he might have had at his disposal, I’ll be putting my beakers and flasks to use this week. While watching The Invisible Man, I recommend drinking a Monocane cocktail.

Monocane

1 oz Pimms No. 1

1 oz Rye

1/2 oz Lemon Juice

3/4 oz Simple Syrup

Twist of Lemon

Mix ingredients together in your favorite scientific glassware. Pour into a tumbler over a large ice cube. Garnish with twist of lemon.

Monocane

The thing that’s great about this classic film is that it doesn’t need blood and gore to inspire terror. Just a few bandages, a disembodied voice from the backseat of a car, some floating props, and boom- instant lifelong fear of an “empty” room. Go ahead and shiver. Cheers!

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Rain Man

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Rain Man

Image credit: Rain Man, 1988.

If we’re talking about ‘man’ movies, I owe it to all you Cinema Sips readers to throw a little Tommy C. in the mix. But I’m not going to go with the obvious choice, by which I mean any of the two dozen Mission Impossible films he’s done (how many are we up to now- 8? 28?). No, I’m going to feature the movie that proved to me that Tom Cruise is so much more than just a tight butt and Chiclet teeth- the 1987 Barry Levinson classic Rain Man (DVD/Download).

Starring Cruise as a slippery car dealer who discovers he has an autistic brother (played masterfully by Dustin Hoffman), this film has so much heart, humor, and emotional growth that I dare even the biggest cynic to scoff. As Charlie and Raymond Babbitt traverse the USA in a classic convertible roadster, they learn what it means to be a family. In their world, family lets you borrow tighty wighties then fling them onto the highway. Family teaches you how to count cards and make a ridiculous amount of money on the blackjack tables in Vegas. And family gets you a tiny little TV so you can watch Judge Wapner and eat cheesy puffs in the middle of the day. We should all be so lucky to have a brother like that.

Raymond (or “Rain Man” as his little brother calls him) is a man of routine. He likes his apple juice in the afternoon, his orange soda with pizza (pizza on Mondays). Don’t even get him started on Fish Sticks. Frankly, I see nothing wrong with this. I eat the same breakfast every day, Chipotle every Monday, and rosé-all-day on Saturdays. Sometimes it’s easier to not overthink things. In that vein, I’ll be fixing a simple, Raymond-inspired cocktail to drink while I fall deeper in love with the Babbitt brothers. While watching Rain Man, I recommend drinking an Adult Apple Juice.

Adult Apple Juice

1.5 oz Apple Juice

½ oz Cognac

½ oz simple syrup

3 oz prosecco

Green Apple wedges

Combine apple juice, cognac, and simple syrup in a shaker with ice. Shake to chill, then strain into a coupe glass. Top with prosecco. Garnish with small apple wedges.

Adult Apple Juice

Although Dustin Hoffman won an Oscar for his portrayal of autistic savant Raymond, Tom Cruise is no slouch in this film either. It’s through his careful performance as Charlie that we start to empathize with the difficulties and triumphs that families dealing with autism face. In his flashy, big-hearted way, Cruise slowly worms his way into your heart. Tommy, if you’re listening, the world needs more Charlie Babbitt’s and fewer Ethan Hunt’s. Cheers!

Guest Post: The Running Man

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running man

Image credit: The Running Man, 1987

Greetings CinemaSips readers!  This post has been guest-written by the semi-sophisticated gentleman at Splotch!  The opinions expressed herein may not necessarily reflect those of Cinema Sips or its affiliates.

Let me tell you some of the things I love about The Running Man (DVD/Download).

This movie really knows how to get the party started. Arnold Schwarzenegger refuses to blow up some rioters, which leads to a military-grade fistfight in a flying helicopter with no doors!  It’s insane.  And it only gets better.  Arnold (The Butcher of Bakersfield) is sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit. But nobody’s ever built a prison that can hold the Governator.  He stays almost long enough for the opening credits, but there aren’t enough faces to punch.  So he leaves prison, meets the love of his life, goes to the airport, and somehow ends up on a TV game show.  (I know, it sounds too good to be true.)  As it turns out, the game show is the perfect vehicle for Arnold to show off his unparalleled mastery of the one-liner.

Here are some other things I love about The Running Man:

  • Dystopian Hawaiian shirt (Arnold’s second worst look ever)
  • A Danish strongman named Sven plays a strong Danish man named Sven
  • The original host of Family Feud watches an old lady drop the F bomb on live TV
  • Professor Tanaka (AKA the butler from PeeWee’s Big Adventure) plays hockey
  • Cigar-chomping Schwarzenegger in a beard and suspenders (his best look ever)
  • Frank Zappa’s son and the drummer from Fleetwood Mac make a great team
  • A Venezuelan singer squares off against an electrified stalker in tighty whities

There’s so much I can say about this movie, I feel like I’ve just barely scratched the surface.  The deeper you dig, the deeper it goes.  But in the interest of brevity, let’s get to the drink.

The Plain Zero

2 oz silver tequila

1 oz Maraschino Liqueur

1 oz lime juice

Luxardo Maraschino cherries, in syrup

Fill a glass with crushed ice.  Put the boozy stuff in about halfway.  Drizzle cherry syrup on top.  Look into the nearest camera and yell “NOW PLAIN ZERO!”

I hope you enjoy this movie as much as I do.  And if you need more help living the Semi-Sophisticated Life, head over to Splotch!

Batman

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Joker with cocktail

Image Credit: Batman, 1989

Cinema Sips has always had a bit of a female bias (yes, yes, I like pink drinks and rom-coms- what a crime), but this month, I’ll be shaking things up by watching “Man” movies.  That’s right- the ones I’ve rolled my eyes at, checked my phone during, and thought, God there needs to be more women in this. But maybe with a cocktail, I’ll feel more generous. Kicking things off is the classic superhero film Batman (DVD/Download).

Although my heart actually belongs to Batman Returns (don’t get me started on how much I adore Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman), I think it’s important to go back to where the modern superhero film began. Sure, there were some cheesy caped crusader films and TV shows of the 60’s and 70’s, but Tim Burton’s Batman ushered in a new era of artistry. Suddenly, the audience was seeing dark, mesmerizing cinematography, lavish production design, and genuinely good acting in place of all the onomatopoeias. Michael Keaton brings a level of humanity to an iconic character that has never been matched since, and Jack Nicholson’s manic Joker performance manages to be fun and frightening all at once. And by frightening, I’m referring of course to his purple satin chef’s hat.

Speaking of the Joker, his nefarious plot to poison the citizens of Gotham through make-up and hairstyling products is pretty genius. Funniest scene: news anchors, afraid to use any products, showing up on the air looking like they were just on a 3-day bender. In tribute to the Joker and his crazy style, I recommend drinking a Smilex Surprise.

Smilex Surprise

1 ½ oz Smirnoff Grape Vodka

½ tsp grape Kool-Aid (for color)

½ oz lime juice

Club Soda

Fresh Limes

Build drink over ice, stirring gently to combine and dissolve Kool-Aid powder. Garnish with fresh lime slices.

Smilex

I’ve always found Batman to be the most fascinating of superheroes because at the end of the day, he’s simply a rich guy with gadgets and extensive martial arts training. He’s a human being who struggles with the same dichotomy that most of us feel from time to time, like we’re one person to the world at large, and someone totally different to ourselves and those close to us.  Michael Keaton really makes you feel this struggle, with nary a nipple in sight.  Many Batmen have come and gone, but if you’re like me, you never forget your first. Cheers!

Legally Blonde

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legally blonde

Image credit: Legally Blonde, 2001

I thought I was done with my month of Campari, but then, one more rose-colored picture called out to me. Not since Funny Face has a film celebrated the color pink in such a big way, from bikinis and laptops, all the way to stationery. Legally Blonde (DVD/Download) is many things, but ultimately for me, it’s a chance to drink a pretty cocktail and wonder what ever happened to Luke Wilson.

After starring in Legally Blonde, Reese Witherspoon effectively became the queen of the rom-com.  As Elle Woods- sorority bimbo turned Harvard Law phenom- she brings heart and genuine strength to a character that could have come off as a caricature of the “dumb blonde”.  Despite some cringe-worthy moments (bend-and-snap = gag), I appreciate that the screenwriters don’t attempt to change the character when her intelligence starts to take center stage.  She still shows off her cute dresses, Prada shoes, and blonde waves, even when she’s winning legal battles and fending off sexual harassers.  Because yes- it’s okay for a woman to be smart and pretty.  If others have a problem with that, it’s their problem.

If I were Elle, cramming for finals on the quad in a pink bikini, sweater-wearing chihuahua by my side, I’d absolutely be toting a refreshing pink cocktail in my go-cup.  Study time just got a lot more fun!  While watching Legally Blonde, I recommend drinking a Pink Spritz.

Pink Spritz

1 part Rosé wine

1 part Grapefruit Cider (I use Austin Eastciders Ruby Red Grapefruit cider)

1 part Grapefruit Topo Chico sparkling water

Splash of Campari

Combine wine, cider, and sparkling water in a glass over crushed ice.  Top with a splash of Campari.

Pink Spritz

Romantic comedies have all but gone by the wayside, which is a shame because there’s still such a huge market for them.  Maybe the fans have gone into hiding (likely after years of derision by men), but I will proudly say that I am a smart woman who likes romance, pink drinks, and cute outfits.  So sue me.  Cheers!

Tropic Thunder

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TROPIC THUNDER

Image Credit: Tropic Thunder, 2008.

I’m ending Campari Month on a fun note this week, with a tiki cocktail and a film so hilarious it might cause you to shoot rum out your nose. Tropic Thunder (DVD/Download) is full of un-PC moments and plenty of Hollywood digs, which makes it perfect for this negroni-imprisonned aperitif. Movies shouldn’t take themselves too seriously- and neither should Campari.

Directed by Ben Stiller, Tropic Thunder spoofs the making of a Vietnam War film, in all its Creedence-soundtracked glory.  The production takes a strange turn when the actors find themselves in a real-life jungle hostage situation, with nary a craft services table in sight. Starring Stiller as a Tom Cruise-esque washed-up action hero, Jack Black as a drug-addled king of flatulence and prosthetic body suits, and Robert Downey Jr. as a lily-white Australian playing an African-American (he’s the dude who’s playing a dude disguised as another dude), this film skewers everything we’ve come to love and hate about Hollywood blockbusters. Even Tom Cruise himself gets in on the action, nearly unrecognizable as heartless studio boss Les Grossman. And I do mean Gross. Man.

I was lucky enough to tour the ranch on Kaua’i where Tropic Thunder was filmed, and let me tell you- after traipsing through the jungle, covered in red dirt and booty sweat, I was ready for a tiki cocktail back at the hotel. While watching Tropic Thunder, I recommend drinking a Jungle Bird.

Jungle Bird

1 ½ oz dark rum

¾ oz Campari

½ oz simple syrup

1 ½ oz pineapple juice

½ oz lime juice

Pineapple wedge and cherry for garnish

Combine rum, Campari, simple syrup, and juices in a shaker filled with crushed ice. Shake vigorously until chilled, then pour entire mixture into a tumbler. Garnish with pineapple and cherry.

Jungle Bird

I’d like to give a special mention to the fantastically good fake trailers before this film, a sub-genre in cinema that we need more of (see also Kentucky Fried Movie and Grindhouse).  Is the world ready for a Scorcher franchise?  This tipsy lady says HELL YES.  Cheers!

The Pink Panther

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pink panther

Image Credit: The Pink Panther, 1963.

Let me begin by saying I have absolutely no idea what is happening in this movie. Blame the Campari, blame the dazzling beauty of young Robert Wagner, but I couldn’t make heads or tails of Blake Edward’s 1963 comedic caper farce The Pink Panther (DVD/Download).  And yet- I couldn’t look away.

I’ve always been fascinated by the 1960’s Jet Set, even before Don Draper and his bizarre Palm Springs weekend. From the designer clothes, to the exotic travel, to the day-drinking, I love it all. This movie picks up where Slim Aarons’ photography leaves off, adding a healthy dose of Henry Mancini’s delightful jazz to an already-glamorous fever dream. I went into this film thinking Peter Sellers would be the star of the show, and indeed his Inspector Clouseau was the most entertaining character. There just wasn’t nearly enough of him. Instead we’re left watching David Niven romance Claudia Cardinale on a tiger-skin rug, while Robert Wagner attempts some playful sexual assault on Clouseau’s wife (I guess back then rapists were just called “playboys”? Ick.). I *think* there’s a jewel heist at the center of it all, but I have no idea who’s doing the heist, or why, or who the jewel belongs to in the first place. Also, despite the sly pink cartoon we all know and love, the Panther is not the thief, the Panther is the jewel. The Phantom is the thief. Still with me?  Yeah, didn’t think so.

Whether they’re in Paris, Rome, or a glamorous Italian ski resort, these people drink A LOT of champagne. Doesn’t that sound like the life? In my opinion, Campari makes it even better, turning a hum-drum mimosa into a sophisticated brunch cocktail.  While watching the Pink Panther, I recommend drinking a Campari Sparkler.

Campari Sparkler

2 oz Campari

2 oz fresh orange juice

1 ½ cups Pink Champagne

Orange slice for garnish

Combine Campari and orange juice in a shaker with ice, and shake until chilled. Strain into a flute or wine glass, and top with pink champagne. Garnish with an orange slice.

Campari Sparkler

There are good caper films, and then there is The Pink Panther. Had I not been long-obsessed with 1960’s style, I might have given up halfway through. But instead I poured another drink, accepted the fact that I would never understand the plot of this movie, and just spent the remaining hour admiring Claudia Cardinale’s wardrobe and makeup. There are worse ways to spend an afternoon. Cheers!