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The Bad News Bears

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Bad News Bears

Image credit: The Bad News Bears, 1976

I have absolutely no idea what’s happening in the world of professional sports right now, but I’m guessing things are not normal. If you’re missing your peanuts and CrackerJack, and starting to wonder if you’ll ever get back, then allow Cinema Sips to tide you over with a classic baseball flick, The Bad News Bears (Disc/Download). Featuring an alcoholic coach, a feminist pitcher, and a ton of salty language, this 1976 ode to Little League and Southern California will have you experiencing all the flavors of summer.

In this perfect time capsule of a movie, Walter Matthau plays Buttermaker, a retired Minor League pitcher and current pool cleaner of the San Fernando Valley. He accepts a gig coaching a team of all the kids who weren’t good enough to play on the existing Little League teams, thinking it’ll be an easy day in the dugout with a cooler full of beer. As the misfits and all their schoolyard problems start to get under his skin, he realizes he has an opportunity to give these kids a badly needed confidence boost. He recruits the talented Amanda (Tatum O’Neal) for her golden arm, motorcycle-riding delinquent Kelly Leak (Jackie Earle Haley) for his stellar batting average, and brainy Ogilvie (Alfred Lutter) to help him Moneyball the heck out of this league. Buttermaker’s strategy works, and eventually the Bears start winning games. The script is genius, but it’s the realistic performances that make me come back to this film year after year. I feel like I get to journey back to an era where people went inside a Pizza Hut to have dinner without irony, and a towheaded kid named Lupus could mix you the perfect martini.

Speaking of alcohol, it’s kind of amazing that Coach Buttermaker could hand out brewskies to a group of eleven-year-olds after the game and it wasn’t all over social media the next morning. I’m sure he still got to keep his job, and I bet those kids didn’t even care that they lost. While watching The Bad News Bears, join in the fun with this Honey-Bear Shandy.

Honey-Bear Shandy

1 oz Vodka

1 oz Orange Juice

½ oz Lemon Juice

½ oz Honey Syrup (2 parts Honey to 1 part Water, boiled and cooled)

5 oz Hefeweizen Beer

Orange Slice for garnish

Combine vodka, honey syrup, orange juice, and lemon juice in a shaker filled with ice. Shake well until chilled, then strain into a glass filled with crushed ice. Add beer, stirring to combine. Garnish with an orange slice.

Honeybear Shandy

If you’ve ever known what it is to get picked last in gym class, if you’ve ever been underestimated because you’re a girl, or if you’ve ever felt like you’ll never live up to the expectations someone has for you, then you’ll probably relate to this film. I always say, I love baseball movies not because of the sport, but because of the sportsmanship. This year may be full of bad news, but we’ll always have the Bears. Cheers!

Jurassic Park

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Jurassic Park

Image Credit: Jurassic Park, 1993

Admit it- the second you saw Jurassic Park (Disc/Download) had hit Netflix this summer, you cheered a little bit inside. I’m typically not one for big blockbusters, but I’ll always have a special place in my heart for that old T-Rex with the tiny hands. I remember seeing this in the theater when it came out in 1993, and during the parts where my eyes were actually open, I knew I was witnessing something incredible. Twenty-seven years later, it still gives me chills.

There have been a lot of sequels, but in my opinion, Steven Spielberg’s original is the undisputed best. Special effects have come a long way since this was made, becoming slicker and smoother as the years passed, but damn if these dinos don’t look insanely real, even by today’s high standards. Watching this as an adult, I can appreciate the true awe these characters must have felt, in a way I couldn’t before. Imagine, you’re an archeologist who’s spent your whole life trying to piece together dinosaur bones, then some crazy nut in a Panama hat tells you he’s extracted dino DNA from fossilized mosquitoes, hatched some new creatures in the lab, and you can actually go see them in a Central American amusement park. This would be like someone telling me there’s a classic Hollywood theme park and for the price of admission I get to ride around in a vintage Corvair and shake hands with the cloned, VERY REAL versions of Doris Day and Cary Grant. What wouldn’t I give for a chance like that? Of course, Doris doesn’t have the claws of a raptor or the natural instinct to tear the flesh from my bones, but nevertheless, we don’t really know what she’s like without her morning coffee. Things could get ugly.

With any jungle-set film, I enjoy a good tiki beverage. Of course I had to incorporate those dino eggs somehow, plus the whole gory death motif. While you take a trip to Isla Nublar, I recommend drinking this Isla de Sangre cocktail!

Isla de Sangre

1 1/2 oz Black Rum

1/2 oz Beet Juice

1/4 oz Angostura Bitters

1/2 oz Lime Juice

1/2 oz Orgeat Syrup

1 Egg White

Dried Blood Orange garnish

Combine rum, beet juice, bitters, lime juice, orgeat syrup, and egg white in a shaker. Shake vigorously for 10-15 seconds, then add ice. Shake again for another 15 seconds, and strain into a glass filled with fresh ice. Garnish with a dried blood orange slice.

Isla Sangre

I want to give a special shout-out to sexy mathematician Jeff Goldblum, in his finest performance to date. It takes a special kind of person to show up to the jungle in a black leather jacket, but he’s got the confidence to pull it off. Me? I like the looks of that Panama hat. Cheers!

 

Jeeps

Movie jeeps, spotted in the Bastrop, TX Dinosaur Park

 

TRex

Lucky to be alive.

Twister

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twister

Image credit: Twister, 1996

Sometimes, you just want a big, dumb blockbuster where everybody’s crisis is far greater than your own. Enter the 1996 CGI-cow extravaganza, Twister (Disc/Download). Part romance, part thriller, part comedy (thanks, Philip Seymour Hoffman!), part domestic drama, this movie attempts to be all things to all people. Call it the great cinematic equalizer- no matter who you are, you can find something to like about this tornado disaster flick.

Here’s the thing: I love Helen Hunt. I love everything she’s ever done, and I don’t understand why we can’t have more Helen Hunt. Paired with Bill Paxton (RIP), she truly shines- even in unfortunate clothes from the Gap. In the midst of a half-hearted divorce, she and Paxton banter as well as Hepburn and Grant in The Philadelphia Story, immediately conveying to the audience that his new fiancé won’t make it to the end credits. As they bicker and flirt, these two scientists are also in a race to put a tracking device in a tornado, the ultimate goal being better data and modeling. Eventually the skies turn dark, the cows and pickup trucks start flying, and we’re left on the edge of our seats to see how close they can get without being sucked into the vortex.

As the movie progresses, the twisters get bigger and badder. The ultimate storm is an F5, something that’ll destroy everything in its path. Unless of course you tether yourself to a water pipe with a cheap leather belt- then you’re fine. The world will explode around you, fire and sharp objects will rain down, but your Gap khakis will remain wrinkle-free. While watching Twister, I recommend drinking this spicy F5 Margarita.

F5 Margarita

3 oz Habanero tequila (Infuse Reposado tequila with a few slices of habanero pepper for 1 hour, then strain).

1 oz Paula’s Texas Orange liqueur

1/2 oz Agave Syrup

1 1/2 oz Lime Juice

1 Tbsp Chili Powder

1 Tbsp Salt

Dried Lime garnish

Combine chili powder and salt on a small plate. Run the edge of a lime around the rim of your glass, then dip in the chili salt. Fill glass with ice, and set aside.  Fill a shaker with ice, habanero tequila, orange liqueur, agave, and lime juice. Shake until chilled, then strain into prepared glass. Garnish with a dried lime slice.

Twister is a great summer blockbuster that still holds up, even though some of the science and technology seem pretty antiquated by now. What allows this film to stand the test of time is the fantastic acting and a script that actually puts  human relationships first, rather than special effects.  Flying cows are great and all, but what I really want is a happy ending for these two crazy exes. Cheers!