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Valley Girl

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Image credit: Valley Girl, 1983

This week, let’s stop the world and watch a totally rad slice of SoCal life, Valley Girl (Disc/Download). If you ever wondered whether Nicolas Cage was a teen heartthrob, I am here to tell you, YES he was, and NO, his onscreen chest hair was not normal. But we love him anyway.

I thought I’d heard all the high school slang worth hearing after repeat viewings of Clueless, until I watched its 1980s precursor. As the “Juliet” of this Romeo & Juliet-inspired love story between Valley Girl and a Hollywood Punk, Julie loves to use choice phrases like “Gag me with a spoon” and “Like, fer-SHUR” during trips to the mall, the beach, and meals at the local diner. When she meets her bad-boy “Romeo”, Randy (Cage) at a party, he’s everything she shouldn’t want—he doesn’t wear pastels, he’s not likely to be voted Prom King any time soon, and his hair has a lot of product. But god, can he kiss. Seriously, young Nicolas Cage knew how to do a Hollywood Kiss, and forty years later, it still affects me.

But back to the slang. The language is what makes this film so endearingly funny, and I can’t help but think of how I’d use these words in my own life. These days, I’m in desperate need of a chill pill, but alcohol will have to do. You might think using a whole egg in a cocktail is grody, but I say that’s bogus. I use egg whites frequently, so like, why not a yolk? While watching Valley Girl, I recommend drinking this My Parents Are Gonna Flip! cocktail.

My Parents Are Gonna Flip!

2 oz Silver Rum

1 oz Pineapple Juice

1 oz Coconut Milk

1 oz Lime Juice

½ oz Simple Syrup

1 chopped strawberry

1 Whole Egg (yolk + white; no shell)

Strawberry Garnish

Muddle chopped strawberry in the bottom of a metal shaker with lime juice and simple syrup. Add ice, rum, pineapple juice, coconut cream, and egg. Shake vigorously for at least one minute to emulsify. Strain contents out into a separate glass and dump out the ice in the shaker. Put the liquid contents back into the shaker and shake hard again for 2 minutes to make it extra frothy. Strain into a glass filled with fresh ice. Garnish with a strawberry.

Another standout element to this movie (beyond Nic Cage’s make-out skills) is the soundtrack. With hits from The Psychedelic Furs, Men at Work, The Plimsouls, and Modern English, the track list will transport you to a time when popped collars were all the rage, and peanut butter sushi was served as an hors d’oeuvre. One more time, for emphasis—Gag me with a spoon!!!

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