Action/Adventure/Heist · Comedies

A Life Less Ordinary

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A Life Less Ordinary
Image Credit: A Life Less Ordinary, 1997

Exactly as advertised by the title, forgotten ’90s romantic thriller A Life Less Ordinary (Disc/Download) is truly anything but ordinary. If you like your love stories with a dash of kidnapping, attempted murder, black comedy, and a pair of cursing angels, then this one’s for you.

Directed by Danny Boyle and starring Ewan McGregor, this film initially fell victim to high expectations. People went in hoping for another Trainspotting, and came out wondering what the hell just happened. Yes, the soundtrack is as superb as their previous film together, but that’s where the similarities end. In A Life Less Ordinary, Ewan McGregor plays a janitor and aspiring romance novelist (!!!) who falls on hard times. He takes his boss’s daughter hostage (Cameron Diaz), not realizing she’s a feisty badass who wants to piss off Daddy. The two scheme to get the ransom money, while falling deeper in lust with one another. Meanwhile, they get some help from a couple of potty-mouthed angels (Holly Hunter and Delroy Lindo) who are on a mission to unite two humans in true love. The plot meanders at times, but McGregor and Diaz have such great chemistry that you keep on rooting for them, especially when he serenades her at a karaoke bar. I cannot resist Ewan McGregor singing. Ever. Also, given the stir that Stanley Tucci’s arms have created during quarantine, I feel it’s important to mention his shirtless scenes in this film. Do with that information what you will.

When we first meet Cameron Diaz’s character Celine, she’s playing a game of William Tell with her butler, a gun, and an apple. Let’s honor her marksmanship with this cocktail that combines apple cider, fiery tequila, and scotch- the Poco Loco.

Poco Loco

1 oz Habenero-infused Añejo tequila (Infuse tequila with a few slices of habanero pepper for 1 hr, then strain)

½ oz Scotch

1 ½ oz Apple Cider

½ oz Lime Juice

½ oz Simple Syrup

Dried Apple Slice for garnish

Pour all liquid ingredients into a shaker filled with ice. Shake until chilled, then strain into a glass filled with fresh ice. Garnish with apple slice.

Poco Loco

There are a lot of strange elements to this film, but A Life Less Ordinary is still one of my favorite romances. It posits the theory that love isn’t just two people randomly meeting and making it work, but a supernatural occurrence as well. Call it destiny, call it divine intervention, call it the work of two fallen angels who just want to get off this garbage dump we call Earth, but Perfect Love is out there, even if it looks a little crazy sometimes. Cheers!

Classic Films

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir

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The Ghost and Mrs Muir
Image credit: The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, 1947.

There has never been a more requested movie in the history of Cinema Sips than this week’s pick, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (Disc/Download). After finally watching it for the first time (I know, I KNOW- I shouldn’t have waited this long), I finally understand why. This movie is literally the Venn Diagram of all my interests: Romance, Real Estate, and Rocky Beaches. Hell, let’s throw in another loop for Rex Harrison!

Starring the absurdly beautiful Gene Tierney, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir begins like any good episode of House Hunters. We see why this single mom is leaving her current home, followed by the meeting with the realtor where she talks about her budget and needs. They get in a motorized buggy, and drive up to see Gull Cottage in person. Mrs. Muir falls instantly in love with the open concept, the views, and the fact that it’s move-in-ready. The only catch? It’s haunted! But we’re not talking about just any ghost.  No, we’re talking about a sexy bearded sea captain ghost who wears black turtlenecks and gaudy belt buckles (a look he wears very well). Add to that a saucy maid and oodles of time to type up a novel, and let’s just be honest: this is my dream home.

Captain Gregg has enough stories from his seafaring days to generate a best-selling book, and although it’s not explicitly stated, I have to think most of those stories were fueled by alcohol. Let’s have this strong cocktail to celebrate the tales of sexy seamen everywhere, the Sea Captain’s Special.

Sea Captain’s Special

1 Sugar Cube

3 Dashes Angostura Bitters

2 1/2 oz Bourbon

1/4 oz Absinthe

3 oz Champagne

Club Soda

Lemon Twist (optional)

Place sugar cube in a glass, and soak with a few dashes of bitters and small amount of club soda. Muddle the sugar, rotating the glass so that the mixture lines the inside. Add a large ice cube, then pour in Bourbon. Top with Champagne, and Absinthe. Garnish with a twist of lemon (optional).

Sea Captain's Special

I really think HGTV needs to take a look at The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. I can see it now- a whole season of “Haunted House Hunters”, for people who want a little supernatural spookiness with their soaking tubs. Until then, let’s just watch this classic over and over, dreaming of romance and turtlenecks by-the-sea.  Cheers!

 

 

 

 

 

Classic Films

Sullivan’s Travels

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Sullivan's Travels
Image credit: Sullivan’s Travels, 1941.

I’m often struck by the way history continuously repeats itself. I wonder—do people not already know how this ends? You don’t even need to read a textbook; classic films  provide proof we’ve been through this before. Rampant unemployment, innocent lives lost, oppression of the poor and non-white communities—it’s all there, in this week’s masterpiece of a film, Sullivan’s Travels (Disc/Download). Maybe director Preston Sturges didn’t know how to fix the world’s problems, but he understood that laughter is sometimes the only medicine we’ve got.

Fictional Hollywood director John L. Sullivan is tired of being the Adam Sandler of the 1940s. He’s sick of making brain-dead comedies that fail to address the world’s problems. So he decides to adapt a Serious Novel called O Brother, Where Art Thou (before you ask, yes the beloved Coen Brothers film is a reference to this novel-within-a-movie). But before starting production, Sullivan decides to travel across the country incognito in order to witness and understand the lives of real, ordinary people. He ditches tuxedos in favor of hobo chic, meets Veronica Lake’s character, and together they go off to look for America. However, before their journey concludes, Sullivan gets hit on the head and accidentally assaults a cop. He doesn’t remember that he’s actually a wealthy man of privilege, so he never gets a proper defense in court. After being sentenced to a chain gang, he finally remembers who he is and has to prove his innocence. It’s during a chain gang movie night where he finally realizes the only thing bringing these guys joy is a silly Disney cartoon. It’s their one opportunity to smile and feel human. That’s true of most of America, he realizes. When it comes to entertainment, people don’t want to be told what their problems are; they want to laugh and forget, if only for a little while.

It says a lot about Veronica Lake that even when dressed up like a hobo, she still manages to be one of the sexiest actresses I’ve ever seen. She and Joel McCrea have amazing chemistry, whether they’re sitting beside his swimming pool, or riding the rails of a boxcar. Let’s toast them with this Tramp cocktail!

Tramp

1 oz Sloe Gin

1 oz Peach Liqueur

1 oz Lime Juice

3 oz Cava

Lime twist/dried lime for garnish

Combine sloe gin, peach liqueur, and lime juice in a shaker with ice. Shake until chilled, then strain into a Collins glass filled with crushed ice. Top with Cava and lime garnish.

Tramp

In a weird twist of fate, I actually watched Sullivan’s Travels right after sitting through an old Adam Sandler rom-com. As expected, the Happy Madison flick was a little dumb, but I enjoyed the tropical setting and his schlubby earnestness. It felt good to laugh, at a time when everything in the news made me want to cry. However, it also made me understand how rare it is when a movie causes you smile and think and learn something about the world, which is why Sullivan’s Travels is so special, even today. So give yourself permission to laugh and enjoy a cocktail right now—we all need it. Cheers!

Action/Adventure/Heist

Mad Max: Fury Road

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Mad Max: Fury Road
Image credit: Mad Max: Fury Road, 2015.

Chris Locke, for Splotch! here, guest correspondent for Cinema Sips (and husband of Liz Locke).

On the surface, Mad Max: Fury Road (Disc/Download) is a two-hour car chase, with a heavy dose of shoot-em-up, which makes it easy to see why my wife skipped seeing it in favor of some Jane Austen / Currer Bell movie with lots of stuffy accents and wooden buttons.  But Proust and Joyce don’t really fit the Splotchlife Criteria for Good Movies.

Three ingredients indicate huge potential for a high-quality movie.  Dust, dried blood, and fast cars.  It’s not that all good movies have these things, or that all movies with these things are good.  It’s just that in the Venn Diagram of Good Movies, there is a huge overlap between the circles that contain them.*

The problem is, my wife judged this movie based on the trailer, which doesn’t serve it justice.  Mad Max: Fury Road is a wild ride filled with themes of redemption, reluctant commitment, survival of the underdog, and once the viewer realizes it’s really not about Max, the whole thing changes.  This is the story of Furiosa, a tough-as-nails woman risking her life to save other more vulnerable women.  And where does she take them?  To the land of women, of course!  It’s an authentic feminist dream wrapped in an action burrito of explosions and motorcycles, and when you look for the parallel romance stories (between Nux and Capable, but also the classic “enemies-to-lovers” pairing of Max and Furiosa), there is certainly enough to entertain any open-minded person.

Still not convinced? Look at it as an allegory of our current times. The whole story revolves around a bunch of warmongering starving diseased sycophants blindly following a sadistic obese tyrannical maniac who causes their hardships, hoards the resources, holds the power to save the people, and convinces the less fortunate to blame themselves.  “Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!” he says, as he dumps their most precious resource down the side of a dirty rock cliff, then shuts it off before they can get what they need.  This guy is a real piece of work.

The main characters try to escape their situation and then (SPOILER ALERT) realize the best thing they can do is not to escape, but to go back to where they live and fix it.  They overthrow the tyrannical government and give the people what they need.  It’s a real breath of fresh air, especially given the situation we are currently suffering through.  The greatest thing that comes from this movie: the message that you don’t have to escape.  You can stay and fight for change.

My wife has come around on this movie, but she needed a frozen beverage to do it. She said all the dust and heat made her uncomfortable. Even while we were sitting in air conditioning. Whatever. So if you’re a ninny, watch Mad Max: Fury Road with this Frozen Milk Punch. If you’re a real man, sprinkle some dirt in a rusty can of warm water and call it a day.

Frozen Milk Punch

1 cup Whole Milk

1/2 cup Bourbon

1 cup Crushed Ice

1 tsp Vanilla extract

2 Tbsp Simple syrup

1 cup Vanilla Ice Cream

Grated Nutmeg

Blend together first six ingredients until creamy. Garnish with a pinch of grated nutmeg.

Frozen Milk Punch

*Footnote: Secondary indicators include (but not limited to) apocalypse, kidnapping, homemade weapons.  Tertiary indicators include amateur surgery and a scene where the protagonist hangs upside-down from a moving vehicle with their face inches off the ground.  Unfortunately, this movie does not contain any of the following: a cop close to retirement, a vendetta, a briefcase full of unmarked bills, Nicolas Cage, double cross, horses (as transportation, never as pets), a time bomb, or a heist.  The salvation of the harem may be interpreted as a caper for academic purposes.

Action/Adventure/Heist

Panic Room

LizLocke2 Comments
Panic Room
Image credit: Panic Room, 2002.

During the initial days of Covid-19 and the ensuing food/supply shortages, I panicked. Not knowing how long I’d be trapped inside my house, or under what conditions, I stocked up on pain reliever, tonic water, and white wine (the essentials). Maybe seeing paper goods and yeast already gone from the shelves made me nervous. Or maybe I’d just seen this week’s film Panic Room (Disc/Download) one too many times.

You see, in this 2002 thriller directed by David Fincher, Jodie Foster and Kristen Stewart would have been FINE if only they’d been prepared. Instead, Foster has to open the door of their panic room to a crew of murderous thieves because her daughter didn’t pack her insulin. Which then leads poor K-Stew to be trapped in a tiny room with Forest Whitaker and Dwight Yoakam (the country music star who, after almost twenty years, remains this movie’s greatest casting mystery). Granted, they only moved in a few hours before the break-in. But as someone who saw once saw world order collapse in front of her eyes in the HEB toilet paper aisle, I’m now a firm believer in being ready for anything.

Unfortunately, in this film, alcohol leads to sloppiness. Jodie Foster’s character Meg spends the evening drowning her divorce sorrows with a bottle of red wine, as her hip, androgynous daughter smirks over Diet Coke and pizza. Maybe if she’d had the wine and Coke together, she wouldn’t be so out of it when the robbers arrive. While watching Panic Room, I recommend drinking this Kalimotxo cocktail.

Kalimotxo

3-4 oz Red Wine (I use Tempranillo)

3-4 oz Mexican Cola with cane sugar

Lemon Slice

Build drink over ice, stirring gently to combine. Garnish with a slice of lemon.

Kalimotxo

I give Meg a lot of grief for not being prepared, but actually I’m quite impressed by her MacGyver capabilities in a crisis. Hard wiring a phone to call out? Creating a fireball that’ll vent outside the panic room? These are not things I could do myself. But give me alcohol, mixers, and ice, and I promise to make us all a lot more calm. Cheers!

Dramas · Foreign

Parasite

LizLocke1 Comment
Parasite
Image credit: Parasite, 2019

I’ve already included Bong Joon Ho’s Academy Award-winning masterpiece Parasite (Disc/Download) on my Top 5 list for 2019, but the film is so good, so memorable, that I think it deserves its own cocktail pairing. Fair warning- make your drink before the movie starts, not during, because you won’t want to miss a second.

Kill-and-eat-the-rich is a compelling theme not just in cinema, but in a lot of different art forms. While we might enjoy the temporary window into “how the other half lives”, it’s equally gratifying to watch the wealthy suffer the consequences of callous obliviousness. In Parasite, I get to spend time in a gorgeous modern home, every inch designed for stylish comfort, while also getting the satisfaction of a bloody denouement. But the incredible thing about Parasite is that nobody comes out looking great. Both the rich and the poor have their flaws, existing together in this strange co-dependent world of master and servant.  It really makes you wonder who’s actually in control here. The person writing the checks, or the person actually doing the work? Which one is really the parasite?

There’s a great plot twist involving the skin of a peach, and while I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t seen the movie, just know that it makes for wonderful cocktail inspiration. While watching Parasite, try this simple Peach Fuzz cocktail!

Peach Fuzz

1.5 oz Peach Vodka

.5 oz Lemon Juice

.5 oz Pineapple Gum Syrup

2 oz Prosecco

Fresh pineapple or peach for garnish

Peach Fuzz

Combine vodka, lemon juice, and pineapple syrup in a shaker filled with ice. Shake until chilled, then strain into a martini or coupe glass. Top with Prosecco, and garnish with pineapple or peach.

If anybody wonders why Parasite swept the Oscars, it’s because this film is storytelling at its finest. Every second, from the editing, to the direction, to the performances, to the script, is tight as a drum, with not an inch of wasted celluloid to be found. In fact, when I saw this in the theater, I’d made the mistake of having a couple cocktails before the show. Halfway through… I needed a bathroom break. I kept waiting for a slow moment, which never came. Eventually, I just had to give up and run like hell to the ladies room. When I returned, not two minutes later, I asked my husband what I’d missed. He answered: Everything.

Cheers to home viewing, and the pause button!

 

Classic Films · Dramas

Key Largo

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Key Largo
Image credit: Key Largo, 1948

Consider this my pick for a classic lockdown screening. Whether it’s a virus or a natural disaster that has you stuck inside your home, you can watch Key Largo (Disc/Download) and feel a little bit better about your current situation. One, if you’re reading this, then you probably have easy access to alcohol. Two, you’re most likely not trapped inside the house with a murderous band of gangsters. And three, air conditioning is now standard in a way it wasn’t in the ‘40s. Score one for the present day.

I’ll admit, it was a catchy yacht rock song that drove me to watch this film. Bertie Higgins’ ‘Key Largo’ always puts me in the mood for frozen drinks and a captain’s hat. Havin’ it all, like Bogie and Bacall sounds pretty great, doesn’t it? Well, after watching this film, I’m going to label the song false advertising. 1940s Key Largo does not look like a place I want to sail away to. Humphrey Bogart spends most of his time under a fresh slick of forehead sweat, as he tries to be the smart, capable hero in a hotel held hostage. Lauren Bacall is there to make heart eyes at him, which is sweet, but ultimately unhelpful. Truly, it’s only the drunken gangster’s moll (Academy Award-winner Claire Trevor) who shows any real gumption. Somebody get this lady another drink please!

Speaking of drinks, the Hotel Largo has a pretty paltry cocktail list. We’re talking scotch and… scotch. Just watching them drink it WITH NO ICE makes me hot. Let’s cool off with this Key Lime Colada.

Key Lime Colada

2 cups ice

2 ½ oz dark spiced rum

1 ½ oz Key Lime Juice (From 3 key limes)

1 ½ oz Pineapple Juice

3 oz Cream of Coconut

Combine all ingredients in a blender, and blend until smooth. Pour into a hurricane glass, and garnish with a slice of fresh lime.

Key Lime Colada

Tropical film noir is a new genre for me, and I really thought I’d miss seeing the gorgeous colors of the Florida Keys. But as the movie progressed, I started to enjoy the shadows of the palmetto leaves on the curtains, the black, menacing ocean, and the reflection of light on the bar glasses. Lockdown never looked so sexy. Cheers!

 

Comedies

Heartbreakers

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Heartbreakers
Image credit: Heartbreakers, 2001

After being cooped up inside for most of the spring, I’m really excited to watch a movie featuring beaches, cocktails, and a grand old Florida hotel. Heartbreakers (Disc/Download) is a surprisingly fun rom-com that will have you dreaming of palm trees, the Intracoastal Waterway, and romance under the stars.

Featuring Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love-Hewitt as mother/daughter con-artists, this movie takes the audience through a lot of twists. First, Sigourney is marrying Ray Liotta, right before catching him in a compromising position with his sexy secretary. Turns out the secretary is her daughter, planted to secure a hefty divorce settlement. Due to a strange subplot involving the ALWAYS FABULOUS Anne Bancroft, the duo heads to Palm Beach next to snag a billionaire. They check in to the Breakers Hotel (get it, HeartBREAKERS??), and begin working on Gene Hackman’s character William B. Tensey, a tobacco executive with one foot in the emphysema grave. Hackman really “hacks” his way through this part, in the best anti-smoking campaign I’ve ever seen. Things get messy when Jennifer Love-Hewitt falls for a sweet, earnest bartender (played by Jason Lee), prompting the age-old dilemma between love and money. If the plot seems bananas, it is. But if you’re looking for some escapism right now, this movie is a perfect choice.

It’s such a joy to see a rom-com set somewhere other than New York/Chicago/LA, so let’s celebrate that Florida Lyfe with a tropical martini. While watching Heartbreakers, I recommend drinking this Floridatini.

Floridatini

1 ½ oz Vodka

1 ½ oz Grapefruit Juice

½ oz Passionfruit Syrup

¾ oz Lime Juice

Dash of Peychaud’s bitters

Combine all ingredients in a shaker over ice. Shake until chilled, then strain into a martini glass. Garnish with an umbrella.

Floridatini

Although I love the romance of this film, and especially the wedding dress worn by JLH, the movie’s success is actually due to the complicated, endearing mother/daughter relationship. These two actresses have great chemistry together, even when they’re stabbing each other in the back. Somehow, you still feel the love. Cheers!

 

Comedies

Polyester

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Polyester 2
Image Credit: Polyester, 1981

As a final love letter to the TCMFF that never was, I decided to celebrate not just a classic, but a cult classic. Polyester (Disc/Download) is the rare John Waters movie that has eluded me up till now. Maybe I’d been holding out for an Odorama screening. Maybe I just wanted to watch this someplace more exciting than my living room. But then, I decided the viewing circumstances were irrelevant; Todd Tomorrow should not have to wait until tomorrow.

Having been raised on soap operas, the day I discovered the Douglas Sirk melodrama was a true awakening. Classic cinema had been churning out these “women’s pictures” (I have as much disdain for this term as I do “women’s fiction”) for decades, and life was suddenly a banquet again.  But once you’ve seen Magnificent Obsession and Imitation of Life and All That Heaven Allows, where to go? Baltimore, that’s where. With his core group of Dreamland performers, including Divine, Mink Stole, and Edith Massey, The Pope of Trash took these angst-filled flicks and turned them on their heads. It’s clear Waters has a real appreciation for the original genre, down to the peignoirs, clouds of Evening in Paris perfume, and campy character names, but he injects his own brand of modern weirdness too– foot fetishism, doggie suicide, and drag performance to name a few. The story of Francine Fishpaw overcoming her cheating husband and alcoholism is straight out of the Sirk playbook, but the clever way Waters inserts his own brand makes Polyester into something truly unique.

In a nod to the “gimmick” films of the 1950s, Polyester was originally screened in Odorama, whereby audience members were given cards to scratch and smell during certain scenes. Indeed, even without the cards, we see Divine sniffing like a president during a press conference. Most of the scents are pretty vile (model airplane glue, flatulence, skunk), but the first one is meant to lull us into a false sense of security: roses. By adding a few drops of rose water to this cocktail, you can join in the fun even at home. While watching Polyester, I recommend this Stop and Smell the Roses! cocktail.

Stop and Smell the Roses!

1.5 oz Three Olives Rosé Vodka

.5 oz Lemon Juice

.5 oz Grapefruit Juice

2-3 drops Rose Water

Splash of Sparkling Rosé

Club Soda

Dried Strawberries or Rose Petals for garnish

Combine Vodka, lemon and grapefruit juices, and rose water in a shaker filled with ice.  Shake until chilled, then strain into a highball glass filled with ice. Top with Sparkling Rosé, and club soda. Garnish with dried strawberries or rose petals.

Stop and Smell the Roses

Eventually, Francine learns to stop hittin’ the sauce, but I don’t see any reason for us viewers to stop. Without the famed Odorama cards, we need alcohol as our gimmick. By being something special and different, Polyester breathed new life into the career of Tab Hunter. Maybe, just maybe, it’ll breathe new life into your love of movies; I know it did for me. Cheers!

Classic Films · Comedies

Victor/Victoria

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Victor Victoria
Image credit: Victor/Victoria, 1982.

From Breakfast at Tiffany’s, to The Party, to the Pink Panther films, I am devoted to the comic genius of Blake Edwards. The man does party scenes like nobody else, giving us a blend of style and cheekiness that all but defines 1960s cinema. Victor/Victoria (Disc/Download) may fit squarely in the 1980s (blame Robert Preston’s hair), but I still put it alongside those other classic ‘60s gems. It’s got flair, whit, and above all, it pushes boundaries.

Starring Edwards’ wife Julie Andrews as a hungry soprano masquerading as a female impersonator in 1930s Paris, this film broke a lot of social barriers. Mary Poppins playing a woman, playing a man, who’s playing a woman is something I never thought I’d see, but this role was unexpectedly perfect for Andrews. She struts about the nightclub stage with confidence, making her audience forget about pedestrian concepts like gender and sexuality. Svengali/Manager Toddy (a role originally intended for Peter Sellers before his sudden death) provides witty banter and one-liners for days, their friendship serving as the true heart of the movie. Sure, we’re meant to root for love interest James Garner, the Chicago mobster who can’t figure out why he’s in love with a man (until realizing “he’s” a “she”), but by the end I don’t even care if James and Julie run off into the Pre-World War II sunset. I just want her to drink champagne in bed with Toddy forever.

Speaking of champagne, these characters drink a lot of it. There’s even one impressive number done by an acrobat balancing on a champagne bottle (CLASSIC Edwards physical comedy). Let’s join these liberal, sophisticated Parisians by drinking a Shady Dame.

Shady Dame

4 oz champagne

½ oz Lillet Blanc

½ oz Cointreau

½ oz Lemon Juice

Lemon Twist

Combine Lillet, Cointreau, and Lemon Juice in a shaker over ice. Shake until chilled, then strain into a coupe glass. Top with champagne, and a twist of lemon.

Shady Lady

In a lot of ways, this film is a snapshot of “before” (before WWII, before the Nazi occupation of Paris), and yet, also a preview of “after”. After we learn to give up our arbitrary rules regarding gender and sexuality and just let people be who they are. After we say it’s okay for anybody, male, female, or non-binary, to wear flamenco dresses, drink champagne, and laugh. Cheers!