Classic Films · Comedies

The Girl Can’t Help It

Image: The Girl Can’t Help It, 1956

If you haven’t watched My Mom Jayne yet, STOP what you’re doing and go watch Mariska Hargitay’s stunning documentary right now!!! Then, after you’ve finished crying a river, check out one of Jayne Mansfield’s best performances in Frank Tashlin’s The Girl Can’t Help It (Disc).

Taken as a whole, the movie feels like a parody of itself. The producers knew Jayne was constantly compared to Marilyn Monroe in the press, so they got The Seven Year Itch’s Tom Ewell to play yet another schlub who miraculously catches the eye of a woman waaaaaay out of his league. The movie uses Jayne’s physique and exaggerated costumes to hilarious effect, with big chunks of ice melting as she walks down the street, and milk boiling over in the milkman’s hands. She swings those hips like Jessica Rabbit, as though her upper and lower halves aren’t even connected to the same body. Mansfield’s mob girlfriend character Jerri Jordan is reluctantly trying to break into the music business, which gives Tashlin an excuse to feature a ton of R&B artists from the time period. Acts such as Little Richard, Fats Domino, The Platters, and Eddie Cochran pop up in nightclubs and on television, and it’s wild to see the real people behind the voices I’ve come to know so well in my vinyl collection. But the greatest treat of all is Julie London, who plays “the one who got away”, appearing like a ghost to Tom Ewell’s agent character. Having owned Julie is her Name for many years, losing it, then somehow gaining it back from my deceased uncle’s estate, I feel like Julie’s ghost won’t leave me alone either.

Because boobs (and milk) are such a running gag in this movie, I had to do a cream-based drink. The cherry flavor is sweet like Jerri, and it feels like a frothy confection in a glass—a cocktail version of Jayne’s final pastel evening gown. While watching The Girl Can’t Help It, I recommend drinking a Cherry Jordan.

Cherry Jordan

1 oz Vodka

1 oz Cherry Heering

½ oz White Crème de Cacao

1 oz Heavy Cream

Maraschino cherry

Combine vodka, Cherry Heering, crème de cacao, and cream in a shaker with ice. Shake to chill, then strain into a Nick & Nora glass. Garnish with a maraschino cherry.

Shot in glorious DeLuxe Color, The Girl Can’t Help It is a true feast for the eyes. The costumes and sets pop like a Powell & Pressburger picture, as if The Red Shoes had been directed by the guy who drew Looney Tunes. This movie is campy, fun, and surprisingly clever, and it’s the perfect way to celebrate a woman who was all these things, and more. Cheers!

Classic Films · Dramas

The Days of Wine and Roses

Days of Wine and Roses
Image credit: The Days of Wine and Roses, 1962.

I’ve spent a lot of time watching rom-coms and writing books with that all-important Happily Ever After, but this February, I’m planning a deep dive into the tragic romance genre. I want to celebrate those tear-jerker movies that leave you gutted, but nevertheless believing in the all-consuming power of love. This week, I’m subjecting myself to a serious punch to the face by watching The Days of Wine and Roses (Disc/Download).

I’ll be honest, when I hit play on this film, I was expecting something much different than what I got. I thought Blake Edwards + Henry Mancini + Jack Lemmon = a romantic comedy with great music and fabulous party scenes. Well, I got the music, parties, and romance, but there’s nothing funny about this movie about two alcoholics struggling to get sober. Like Reefer Madness before it, and Leaving Las Vegas decades after, this is a film that will make you want to give up all your vices and just stay home with a glass of water. It strays a little too far into propaganda-territory for Alcoholics Anonymous, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a powerful film about loving someone who can’t love themselves. Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick give powerhouse performances as a doomed husband and wife who fall on and off the wagon multiple times, and when each subsequent fall is from a greater height, you start to really ache for them. You hope that their love is enough to help them through this, but eventually, it becomes clear—it might not be.

When the film begins, Lee Remick is a teetotaler, until she meets the sweet, drunken charmer Jack Lemmon and his Brandy Alexander‘s. One sip, and it’s all downhill. You could certainly enjoy that cocktail with her, but this film is also a great excuse to use rosewater. Especially when Jack Lemmon is tearing through a greenhouse looking for the bottle he stashed in a plant. It’s so moving, you can almost smell the soil, roses, and bitter stench of cheap booze. While watching The Days of Wine and Roses, I recommend this Wilted Rose Martini. (But seriously- just one, dear reader.)

Wilted Rose Martini

2 ½ oz Lemon Vodka

½ oz Elderflower Liqueur

½ oz Lemon Juice

½ oz simple syrup

3 drops Rosewater

Lemon Twist

Combine all ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake until chilled, then strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

Wilted Rose Martini

I count my lucky stars that I’m able to have only one or two cocktails and call it a night. I know how slippery that slope is for many people, and this film gives me empathy for their struggle. The ending is ambiguous, and we don’t know if either of these people will ever stay clean. But I have hope that they do—I believe in love, and I believe that people can conquer their demons.  Maybe there’s a Happily Ever After still to come. Cheers!