Children's

The Little Mermaid

Nostalgia is a powerful thing. Strong enough to reduce a middle-aged woman to tears, as an animated crab sings “Kiss the Girl” to two beautiful people in a rowboat. Tears were also shed during Halle Bailey’s rendition of “Part of Your World”, even though I personally want to be where the people aren’t. The 2023 version of The Little Mermaid (Download) may be billed as an updated “live-action” spin on the 1989 cartoon that captured my 6-year-old heart, but the elements that made the original great are still there: a room full of gadgets and gizmos, a cute dog, and a Rubenesque sea witch.

Let’s get my two critiques out of the way before we get to cocktails:

  1. This movie is far too long. Are children able to sit through two-and-a-half-hour runtimes? I have trouble, and I’m forty.
  2. I don’t consider this to be live-action, but rather, “more realistically animated”. Actual, live humans account for about 20% of what’s happening onscreen. Splash was live-action, and The Little Mermaid is not Splash. Unfortunately.

As for what the film is, I would say it’s still a fun, romantic fantasy about following one’s heart. This new iteration gives us a better sense of the time period and geography than the original cartoon did, and it allows for a bit more character development. Turns out Ursula is Ariel’s evil aunt, and Prince Eric is an adopted wannabe Magellan. I like that he has more of a goal than “Prince”, and I also like the snarling sibling relationship between Ursula and King Triton. Turns out, families are complicated messes, even in a Disney movie.

With the film’s Caribbean setting, it seems appropriate to make a Rum-based cocktail. While watching The Little Mermaid, I recommend drinking this classic Fish House Punch.

Fish House Punch

¾ oz Dark Rum

¾ oz Cognac

¾ oz Peach Brandy

½ oz Simple Syrup

¼ oz Lime Juice

½ oz Lemon Juice

Lime Slice

Maraschino Cherry

Fill a shaker with ice. Add all the liquid ingredients and shake until chilled. Strain into a glass filled with fresh ice and garnish with a lime slice and cherry.

You might be tempted to make something colorful and sugary for this movie, but I prefer to stay true to the time period in which it’s set. This seems like the kind of drink that would be passed around by sailors as they’re telling tall tales of sirens and shipwrecks, while ladies struggle with their corsets. As for me, I’m content to drink it in my living room with my very cute dog, surrounded by my thingamabobs. Cheers!

Comedies

The Player

With the historic 2023 Hollywood writer’s strike thankfully coming to an end, it seems fitting to watch a movie where a screenwriter comes to an “arrangement” with a Hollywood studio exec, and in effect gets the final word. Robert Altman’s The Player (Disc/Download) is a fun satire of the industry, where pitches get made on the fly, stars wander in and out of the frame, and power is fleeting. What did it take to get a movie greenlit in 1992? Apparently, Julia Roberts and a happy ending.

I always love movies and television shows where stars play a version of themselves, and The Player is chock full of cameos from people like Burt Reynolds, Cher, Jack Lemmon, and Buck Henry (just to name a few of the 60+ celebrities parading through, both major and minor). This speaks to the idea that Los Angeles is a “company town”, and even though the Classic Hollywood studio system may be long gone, there’s still a lingering hierarchy in place. Actors are close to the top of the food chain, while screenwriters are unfortunately down at the bottom. Producers and execs? They’re at the very top. Tim Robbins is fantastic as hotshot studio exec Griffin Mill, playing the role with a pitch-perfect note of smarmy insincerity. The plot transitions into a comedic noir when Griffin inadvertently murders a screenwriter he thinks has been sending him death threats (a twist straight out of the classic film posters lining his office walls), and he quickly has to pivot from a man who has everything, to a man who has everything to lose.

With so many Hollywood locations used in the filming of this, it shocked me that The Ivy wasn’t one of them. Growing up in the ’90s, I thought this restaurant behind the white picket fence was where all the big deals happened. At least, that’s what People magazine led me to believe! Altman may have skipped it, but that doesn’t mean we have to. While watching The Player, I recommend drinking The Ivy Gimlet.

The Ivy Gimlet

3 oz Vodka

1 oz Lime Juice

1 oz Simple Syrup

6-8 fresh mint leaves

Lime Wheel

Prepare glass by rubbing a lime wheel around the rim, then dip in sugar. Fill with crushed ice, then set aside. In a metal shaker, muddle mint with lime juice and simple syrup. Add vodka and a few ice cubes, and shake until chilled. Pour entire contents of shaker into prepared glass. Garnish with lime wheel and more fresh mint.

When Griffin says at one point, “I was just thinking what an interesting concept it is to eliminate the writer from the artistic process,” one wonders if today’s execs saw this film as a roadmap to where the industry might be headed next. As ludicrous as some of these pitches in The Player are, I’d give anything to see these types of original movies on offer at the local cineplex. Without existing IP, how does anything get greenlit now? The sad fact is, most of the time, it doesn’t. Movies: now, more than ever… a repackaging of something you’ve already seen before.

Classic Films · Comedies

It Happened to Jane

In times of uncertainty, I often ask myself—What Would Doris Do? Brought low by the summer doldrums, I recently embarked on a complete Doris Day re-watch, starting with Romance on the High Seas, ending with With Six You Get Eggroll, and covering everything in between. The hope is that her smile will make me smile. Maybe seeing her pluck and tenacity in the workplace will get me back to work. After the publication of my novel Follow the Sun, I’ve been at loose ends, not sure where I go from here. I climbed the mountain, came back down, and… now what? I just start over from scratch? Climb another mountain? Climb every mountain?

In this week’s pick It Happened to Jane (Disc/Download), Doris does just that. Her husband has died, leaving her with two small children and a lobster business to run. She has her best friend Jack Lemmon on hand to lend support, but he’s too scared to admit he harbors romantic feelings for her, and she’s too busy trying to restart her life to see what’s been right in front of her all along.  There’s a great David & Goliath storyline as Lemmon and Day battle the big bad railroad tycoon (Ernie Kovacs) whose budget cuts have resulted in a train full of rotten lobsters, and in our current era of workers facing off against greedy CEOs, the plot feels quite contemporary. As usual, Doris triumphs with her signature mix of talent, strength, and vulnerability, making us believe that everything’s going to be okay in the end. That’s why her movies and her star persona endure—because we’re all looking for that brand of hope. If she can make it through the Warner Brothers years, with terrible parts in terrible movies (ahem, Tea for Two), to get to It Happened to Jane and Pillow Talk, maybe I can make it through this weird time of having a published book on the shelf (admittedly, a book not many have heard of), coupled with a tremendous amount of anxiety about whether there will be a second one someday. If Doris Day can find love with Jack Lemmon and save her lobster business, maybe I can pull myself out of bed and write something bigger than a blog post.

Speaking of Jack Lemmon, I’m very grateful that his last name lends itself so well to citrus cocktail puns. Plus, I can always count on him to lift my spirits in much the same way Doris does. However bad my day is, however many lemons the universe has served up, Jack can turn it around. Well, Jack Lemmon and a cocktail. While watching It Happened to Jane, I recommend drinking this Lemmon-Drop.

Lemmon-Drop

2 oz Luxardo Limoncello

2 oz Vodka

1 oz Simple Syrup

1 oz Fresh Lemon Juice

Lemon twist for garnish

Combine limoncello, vodka, simple syrup, and lemon juice in a shaker with ice. Shake until chilled, then strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

By my calculations, I’ll be done with the Doris Day re-watch around January 2024. Hopefully by then, I’ll have absorbed her wisdom and possess a clearer idea about where I’m headed next. Maybe I’ll begin to view starting over as an exciting thing instead of a scary thing. Lord knows, Doris had to do it plenty of times both in her personal life and on the screen. In the end, she was okay. She had a great life full of laughter and dogs and bicycle rides through Beverly Hills. Those early Warner Brothers films were merely a blip in her autobiography. So for now I’ll just say, “Que sera, sera.” What will be, will be.

Classic Films · Comedies

Here Comes Mr. Jordan / Heaven Can Wait / Down to Earth

Here Comes Mr. Jordan (Disc/Download)

Heaven Can Wait (Disc/Download)

Down to Earth (Disc/Download)

Action/Adventure/Heist · Comedies

Ocean’s Thirteen

If you’re in the mood to watch a greedy, orange-tinted thug finally experience some consequences, you could certainly watch the evening news, OR you could watch the delightful finale to Soderbergh’s Ocean’s trilogy, Ocean’s Thirteen (Disc/Download). Campy and colorful with plenty of late-1960s style cues, this movie takes a lot of twists and turns but pulls it together by the end. From this crew, I’d expect nothing less.

After taking Europe by storm, Ocean’s guys head back to Las Vegas for a job that’s less about profit, and more about revenge. King of the Strip—aka King of Big Glasses—Reuben (Elliott Gould) has suffered a heart attack brought on by the evil dealings of rival casino boss Willy Bank (Al Pacino), and the group is on a mission to make sure Willy’s big opening is an epic fail. Utilizing their entire arsenal of tools (scent gags, fake noses, fake mustaches, bed bugs, food poisoning, earthquakes, loaded dice, minor explosions, slot machine-hacking, etc.), Ocean’s team pulls off both an elaborate heist and a giant f-you to Bank. It’s probably no coincidence that the film also features a labor dispute at a Mexican plastics factory because this entire trilogy has always been about redistribution of wealth. Whether it’s Terry Benedict, or The Night Fox, or Willy Bank, the common villain is a man with too much money and power who needs to be taken down a notch. Or, millions of notches.

Speaking of the plastics factory, I hate to see a perfectly good bottle of tequila sacrificed as a Molotov cocktail, when it could have been used in a real cocktail! Let’s get that gold cocktail glitter back out this week to mix up a drink that’s perfect for Bank’s gilded palace. While watching Ocean’s Thirteen, I recommend drinking a No Dice cocktail.

No Dice*

1 oz Blanco Tequila

1/4 oz Yellow Chartreuse

1/4 oz Cointreau

1 oz Lime Juice

1/2 oz Simple Syrup

1 egg white

Edible Glitter (for garnish)

Combine Tequila, Yellow Chartreuse, Cointreau, lime juice, simple syrup, and egg white in a shaker without ice. Shake well to combine, then add ice. Shake again for another 15-20 seconds, then strain into a chilled coupe glass. Dust with edible glitter.

*Adapted from a recipe in Tequila Cocktails by Brian Van Flandern

These Ocean’s movies are so satisfying because the good guys always come out on top, and they always take care of the people who helped them along the way. There are major and minor players, but each of them gets a fair cut. And the bad guys? Well, they never really suffer too much, but they’re certainly unhappy and inconvenienced by the end. I’d still count that as a win. Cheers!

Comedies

Raising Arizona

If this unrelenting summer has you down, then pour a drink and prepare to laugh yourself silly at Raising Arizona (Disc/Download). A movie I didn’t initially “get”, it’s gotten funnier with each successive re-watch, particularly once I was lucky enough to see it on the big screen. There are some films that benefit from zero distractions and real-time audience reactions, and this screwball heist comedy is one of them.

Starring Nicolas Cage as convicted felon Hi, and Holly Hunter as his beloved wife (and booking officer) Ed, Raising Arizona is among the many Coen Brothers films with clear Preston Sturges influences. The plot follows the “ordinary man thrust into extraordinary circumstances” archetype when an infertile Hi and Ed get the harebrained idea to kidnap one of the Arizona Quintuplets and raise him as their own. This is followed by some impressive camerawork by cinematographer (and future Men In Black director) Barry Sonnenfeld in the nursery, as Hi juggles babies and tries to choose “the best one”. While I normally find babies in movies (and in life) to be pretty tedious, clever editing endears the Arizona quints to my cold heart. Plus, they give Nicolas Cage an excuse to run through a grocery store with a pack of Huggies under one arm and a pair of panty-hose compressing his Woody Woodpecker hairstyle, and for that I am truly grateful.

When the weather gets so hot that you start to feel like you live in a tin can plopped into the desert, that’s when you know it’s time to cool off with a cocktail. While watching Raising Arizona, I recommend drinking this riff on a classic, the “Hi” & Dry.

“Hi” & Dry

2 oz Whiskey

3 oz Canada Dry Ginger Ale

2 dashes Angostura Bitters

Rosemary Sprig & Dried Orange for garnish

Combine whiskey, ginger ale, and bitters in a glass filled with a large ice cube. Stir gently to combine, and garnish with a rosemary sprig and dried orange wheel.

With a memorable score that features plenty of yodeling, plus over-the-top line deliveries from Cage and Hunter, plus a mulleted Frances McDormand pushing childhood immunization (yay vaccines!), Raising Arizona has crawled its way up the ladder of my favorite Coen Brothers movies. Before you make the mistake of thinking this is just another ridiculous movie about ridiculous people, I suggest you sleep on it. Cheers!

Classic Films

One Way Passage

I’ve died and gone to movie-cocktail heaven. This week, I had the pleasure of watching One Way Passage (Disc), a stylish drama about doomed lovers aboard an ocean liner. Made during the brief but wonderful Pre-Code Era, it features stunning gowns, a short runtime, and plentiful cocktails. We really did have everything, didn’t we?

Starring a dashing William Powell as escaped death-row inmate Dan, and Kay Francis as the terminally ill Joan, these two strangers meet at a bar in Hong Kong and share cocktails, both breaking their glasses over the bartop once they’re through (a move that was equal parts charming and horrifying to a barware collector like myself). Shortly after, Dan gets arrested and dragged onto a ship headed to San Francisco, where he reunites with Joan. They’re both on borrowed time, though neither one suspects it of the other. Dan has multiple opportunities to escape again, but he gives them all up for a chance to better know this woman who has captured his heart. As they share more classic cocktails and kisses, and Kay wears yet another fabulous Orry Kelly creation, I am equal parts excited and heartsick. Excited I found a movie that integrates cocktails so fully into a love story, and heartsick that it can seemingly only end in tragedy.

The drink ordered in this movie is the Paradise cocktail, and although the onscreen version is different from the classic recipe that appeared in Harry Craddock’s Savoy Cocktail Book in 1930, both use popular ingredients of the time period. Dan and Joan’s Hong Kong bartender is almost like a chemist, measuring out ingredients and twisting orange peels as he makes the catalyst that sets this whole story in motion. While watching One Way Passage, I recommend drinking a Paradise cocktail.

Paradise

1 ½ oz Gin

1 oz Apricot Brandy or Liqueur

2 oz Orange Juice (fresh squeezed)

Orange Twist

Chill a glass by filling with ice, and set aside. Combine gin, apricot brandy, and orange juice in a shaker with ice. Shake until chilled. Dump the ice out of the glass, then strain the cocktail into it. Twist an orange peel over the cocktail to express the oils, then drop in.

I won’t ruin the ending, but let’s just say that the way barware is utilized had me grinning from ear-to-ear. This film manages to take what should have been a maudlin finale and turns it into something happy and whimsical. That’s the power of cocktails, and that’s the power of good storytelling. Cheers!

Comedies

The Big Chill

If you ever get nostalgic for 1960s music and political ideology, then definitely check out this movie… set in the 1980s? This week, Cinema Sips is diving into The Big Chill (Disc/Download), which is unfortunately not about frozen cocktails. Rather, it’s about recapturing the joy and camaraderie of youth, and rocking out to classic Motown hits. Sign me up!

I’ll admit, when I first watched The Big Chill as a teenager, I didn’t get it. All these whiny middle-aged people having affairs and trying to make jogging a thing—not my cup of tea. But as an adult who is now squarely in the age range of these characters, I enjoy it a lot more. I don’t think you can really “get” The Big Chill until you’ve experienced grief, and/or drifted away from the friends you had in college. You have to have lost something before you can find it in this movie. Jeff Goldblum is the standout in an ensemble cast of college buddies reuniting at a funeral, and if you thought he was charismatic in Jurassic Park, you will enjoy him even more in this. They gave his character all the best lines, and the best drugs. 

This group of mourners seem to go through an awful lot of white wine, which is understandable given all the issues they’re still working out. Impotence, loneliness, infidelity, depression- pass the Sauvignon Blanc. You could certainly keep it simple with a bottle of wine, or you could mix it into something perfect for long conversations around the coffee table. While watching The Big Chill, I recommend drinking a Heard It Through the Grapevine cocktail.

Heard It Through the Grapevine

3 oz Dry White Wine

1 oz Ginger Liqueur

1 oz Lemon Juice

3 dashes Orange Bitters

2 oz Ginger Beer

Lemon/Basil Garnish

Combine wine, ginger liqueur, lemon juice, and orange bitters in a shaker with ice. Stir to combine, then strain into a glass filled with a large ice cube. Top with ginger beer, and garnish with a lemon wheel and sprig of basil.

There’s something that happens when you reach your thirties and forties, when you start losing people at a rate you never could have fathomed ten years earlier. Suddenly it’s parents, grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, etc. The wedding circuit is replaced with the funeral circuit. We start gathering and taking stock, wondering when it will be us in that box, and what will people say about the life we’ve led? Wondering if this will be the last time we see any of these fellow mourners again. Maybe a movie about frozen cocktails would have been a little more uplifting, but The Big Chill gives me the community, and the perspective, I didn’t know I needed. Cheers!

Musicals

Bye Bye Birdie

When the temperature becomes unbearable during the long slog of an Austin summer, look for me at The Paramount. I’m not sure how a historic theater manages to have the coldest air conditioning in the entire state of Texas, but there’s nothing better than shivering under that arctic blast as you enjoy a classic film under gilded crown molding. I recently had the pleasure of watching Ann-Margret flutter her arms and hair in front of that famous blue backdrop in Bye Bye Birdie (Disc/Download), and like the ad executives of Sterling Cooper, I quickly fell under the spell of this Technicolor teenage dream.

Inspired by Elvis’s draft into the US Military and the cultural fallout with teen girls across the nation, Bye Bye Birdie is a fun musical full of colorful swing dresses, Dick Van Dyke charm, and pastel princess phones. I could watch this with the sound off and be thoroughly entertained, which speaks to how well the visuals and choreography work together. Paul Lynde is perfect as the put-upon father and wisecracking businessman, always getting the biggest audience laughs with his trademark smirks. And while Elvis is not the person playing teen idol Conrad Birdie (I think we can all agree, it should have been Elvis), Ann-Margret distracts us from this travesty with her pink capri pants and magnetic enthusiasm. To put this in modern moviegoing terms, she is Barbie. Her boyfriend Hugo? He’s just Ken. Possibly, Allan…

Speaking of Hugo, I took inspiration from the popular Hugo Spritz for this week’s cocktail, transporting it from an Italian café to Sweet Apple, Ohio. Perfect for sipping during the Telephone Hour, while watching Bye Bye Birdie, I recommend drinking this Hummingbird Spritz.

Hummingbird Spritz

2 oz Brut Hard Cider

1 ½ oz St. Germain

¼ oz Mint Simple Syrup

2 oz Club Soda

Lemon Slice (dried)

Edible Glitter

Fill a stemmed glass with ice. Add cider, St. Germain, and mint simple syrup. Stir gently to combine, then add Club Soda. Top with a dried lemon slice and sprinkle a pinch of edible glitter.

This drink sparkles as brightly as Birdie’s gold jumpsuit and is extremely refreshing on a hot day (almost as refreshing as that Paramount air conditioning!). If you’re looking to put on a happy face during this never-ending heat wave, I can honestly, sincerely say this movie, and this drink, will do it. Cheers!

Comedies

Pink Flamingos

Everyone should grow up with a fun uncle; one who lets you watch and read inappropriate things, encourages you to stay up late, and treats you like an adult even if you’re still in elementary school. He might wear Birkenstocks year-round, or perhaps Hawaiian shirts, and he definitely enjoys good food, good conversation, and good movies. My fun uncle was named Len, and sadly, he left this world far too soon. Len’s film collection was unparalleled, and I recently embarked on the complicated task of organizing his Criterion titles and distributing them to good homes. For reference, Len had the entire Collection, including every spine released before his death in December 2022. Several hundred went into my personal library, so it feels appropriate to celebrate Len and his final, incredible donation to my life with one of his favorites—Pink Flamingos (Disc).

I can’t remember if I first watched John Waters’ magnum trash opus on Uncle Len’s ancient TV set, or if I rented it later in my hometown. However, I’m certain Len was the one who first clued me in to this movie’s existence. I probably asked about the Divine magnet on his fridge, and he probably countered with the story of watching Pink Flamingos at a midnight screening in the 1970s with Mink Stole in attendance. One got the feeling that Len had a personal connection to this movie, and re-watching the Criterion edition now, I can see why. It’s made for people on the fringes of society, or maybe just the ones who wanted to march to the beat of their own drums. They didn’t follow the rules, and they didn’t wait for permission. One look at Divine’s strut down a Baltimore sidewalk, and you instantly understood—this person is weird, and in this universe, “weird” is a good thing. As a teenager, I loved Pink Flamingos for its unapologetic rejection of society’s (and cinema’s) norms. In my own life, I longed for the confidence of a Maryland drag queen.

I’m not sure what Babs Johnson served at her birthday party (apart from Amyl Nitrite poppers), but given her mama’s obsession with the Egg Man, I’ll bet an egg-white cocktail would have gone over well. While watching Pink Flamingos, I recommend drinking a Special Delivery cocktail.

Special Delivery

2 oz Gin

1 oz Pineapple Juice

½ oz Lime Juice

½ oz Grenadine

Egg White

Combine all ingredients in a shaker without ice. Shake vigorously for thirty seconds, then add ice. Shake again until chilled, then strain into a coupe glass.

“Shock cinema” isn’t normally my bag, but I have a lot of respect for directors with a unique voice. Watching a John Waters movie feels like a tiny act of rebellion in and of itself, and even as a middle-aged adult, I can’t help but worry my mom’s going to walk in, shake her head, and ban the movie from the house. Thankfully, I had an Uncle Len in my life, who told me it’s okay to be different. It’s okay to like the weird stuff. “Weird” is a good thing. Cheers!