Classic Films · Comedies

Beach Blanket Bingo

LizLocke1 Comment
Image: Beach Blanket Bingo, 1965

Despite an enduring love of Gidget, 1960s swimwear, and rear projection scenes, the Frankie Avalon/Annette Funicello beach movies somehow never made it to the top of my watch list. Luckily, this cinema oversight has been corrected this week with the fifth “Beach” movie in the series, Beach Blanket Bingo (Disc/Download).

Like Ryan Gosling’s Ken, as far as I can determine, Frankie Avalon’s job in the 1960s was “beach”. What a gig! There were many gorgeous girls prancing around him in bikinis, but none as charming as Annette. She had oodles of charisma, along with an unflappable comb-over hairstyle that could survive wind, waves, and even a skydiving helmet. I love the mermaid side character in BBB, with Lorelai acting as a precursor to Daryl Hannah’s “Madison” in Splash. It’s a shame the romance between the mermaid and her beachbum lover Bonehead gets interrupted time and again with the antics of a middle-aged motorcycle gang masquerading as adolescents. Honestly, if this movie had been nothing more than mermaid rescues and drinks at the local bar with Frankie and Annette singing their hits, I would have been a happy viewer. Who needs skydiving and lame kidnapping plots when you have “beach”???

Although the sexcapades of these teenagers seem pretty chaste by today’s standards, there’s a surprising amount of double entendre and suggested nudity. We’re left to imagine what may have happened during Bonehead’s date with the mermaid, which results in the loss of her dress by the end of the night. For this reason, it seems like a great time to mix up the classic eighties resort drink, a Sex on the Beach.

Sex on the Beach

1 ½ oz Vodka

½ oz Peach Schnapps

½ oz Chambord

1 ½ oz Orange Juice

1 ½ oz Cranberry Juice

Add the vodka, peach schnapps, Chambord, and cranberry juice to a hurricane glass. Fill with ice. Top with orange juice, and garnish with a cherry and cocktail umbrella.

Like other 1960s teen movies, the cameos in this are incredible. Paul Lynde as the scheming music manager, Don Rickles as the nightclub owner, and even Buster Keaton as an aging pervert! The plot doesn’t make sense, but it doesn’t need to. As long as you’re okay with a film based entirely around shimmying teens and retro bikinis, you’ll do just fine. Cheers!

Classic Films · Dramas

The Sandpiper

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Image: The Sandpiper, 1965

Summer is in full swing, which means I’m in the mood for for melodrama at the beach. Vincente Minnelli’s The Sandpiper (Disc/Download) is a perfect choice because it features two people who defined the word “drama” in the 1960s: Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.

Having abandoned their spouses to hook up with one another during the filming of Cleopatra, Burton and Taylor were already a married couple by the time they made The Sandpiper. However, that didn’t stop them from capitalizing on their reputation as scandal-plagued adulterers. They were among the most photographed celebrities of the 1960s, so whether The Sandpiper was a good movie or a bad one was of no consequence; it was always going to make money. Thankfully, the film has a lot to offer, such as beautiful Big Sur scenery, Elizabeth Taylor’s enviable beach house, forbidden love, and even Charles Bronson playing a hippie sculptor. Taylor’s character of a single mom who is single by choice was a bold stance for the time period, and even though her son is included in a long list of movie children I loathe, I enjoy the film’s feminist leanings. Liz can be an artist or a mother or whatever the hell she wants to be; men are of no consequence to her ambitions.

For all you lovers of melodrama, rest assured there is a wonderfully taboo romance between this bohemian mom and the married Episcopalian priest in charge of her son’s new boarding school. Richard Burton was the quintessential “Hot Priest” before Fleabag coined the term, so let’s celebrate him with this spicy spritz perfect for summer on the California coast. While watching The Sandpiper, I recommend drinking a Hot Priest cocktail.

Hot Priest

1 Jalapeño pepper, sliced into rounds

4 oz Rosé wine

½ oz Lime juice

2 oz Sparkling Water

In the bottom of a wine glass, muddle 1 jalapeño slice (omit if you don’t want it extra-spicy). Add ice, then pour in the Rosé and lime juice. Top with sparkling water, and garnish with 2-3 jalapeno slices.

It’s hard to imagine any movie couple surpassing the unique chemistry of Liz and Dick in The Sandpiper, not only because of their physical attractiveness, but because the audience gets to feel like they’re witnessing something secret. We’re brought into their relationship for the length of two hours, and it’s gorgeous and complicated and doomed. But oh, when it was good, it was amazing. Cheers!

Comedies

Barbie

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Image: Barbie, 2023

A new summer cocktail book has reignited my love of all things Barbie. Ginny Landt’s The Official Barbie Cocktail Book has so many wonderful (and wonderfully pink!) cocktails and mocktails that it inspired me to revisit a recent favorite, Greta Gerwig’s Barbie (Disc/Download).

Arriving in 2023 like a blast of color after the dark years of the pandemic, Barbie offered reassurance that we’d be okay. Cinema and imagination would survive. I don’t know what I expected from a movie about my favorite childhood toy, but Barbie was everything I didn’t know I wanted: fantasy, adventure, comedy, musical, feminist rallying cry, and Slim Aarons fever dream, wrapped in existential crisis. Being a woman is complicated, so it’s only natural the dolls who were made to represent us experience the same anxieties and societal pressures. The film’s message gets a little muddied by the end, but ultimately, I think it’s about treating everyone with dignity and respect, no matter their gender. Also: never let yourself be put in a box.

When this movie came out two years ago, I had no idea that by 2025 I’d be living in the Mojo Dojo Casa House timeline. Incompetent men have taken over, smart women have lost their power, and we all have to pretend to be interested in The Godfather and golf. It’s for this reason that I chose to make Ginny Landt’s “Movie Night” recipe because unlike a lot of the other cocktails in her book, it’s dark in color. Nevertheless, it’s bubbly and refreshing, because even in the land of “brewski beers”, there are pockets of joy. While watching Barbie, I recommend drinking a Movie Night cocktail.

Movie Night (adapted from The Official Barbie Cocktail Book)

1 ½ oz Gold Rum (I used Smith & Cross Traditional Jamaica Rum)

¾ oz Coffee Liqueur

½ oz Lime Juice

7 oz Coke

Add ice to a Collins glass. Pour rum, coffee liqueur, lime juice, and Coke on top. Garnish with popcorn.

Watching Barbie is always a delight because of the sets, costumes, and the mere presence of Ryan Gosling as Ken. No actor has ever made me laugh as hard as Gosling when he starts to play Matchbox Twenty’s “Push”, and in that moment, he is definitely Kenough. Kudos to the Disney Channel for preparing him for the role of a lifetime. If you need a break from our bleak human timeline and current events, then join me—Ordinary Barbie and my flattering top—on a trip to Barbie Land. Maybe, if enough people visit, we’ll be inspired to make it a reality someday. Cheers!

Classic Films · Comedies

The Girl Can’t Help It

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Image: The Girl Can’t Help It, 1956

If you haven’t watched My Mom Jayne yet, STOP what you’re doing and go watch Mariska Hargitay’s stunning documentary right now!!! Then, after you’ve finished crying a river, check out one of Jayne Mansfield’s best performances in Frank Tashlin’s The Girl Can’t Help It (Disc).

Taken as a whole, the movie feels like a parody of itself. The producers knew Jayne was constantly compared to Marilyn Monroe in the press, so they got The Seven Year Itch’s Tom Ewell to play yet another schlub who miraculously catches the eye of a woman waaaaaay out of his league. The movie uses Jayne’s physique and exaggerated costumes to hilarious effect, with big chunks of ice melting as she walks down the street, and milk boiling over in the milkman’s hands. She swings those hips like Jessica Rabbit, as though her upper and lower halves aren’t even connected to the same body. Mansfield’s mob girlfriend character Jerri Jordan is reluctantly trying to break into the music business, which gives Tashlin an excuse to feature a ton of R&B artists from the time period. Acts such as Little Richard, Fats Domino, The Platters, and Eddie Cochran pop up in nightclubs and on television, and it’s wild to see the real people behind the voices I’ve come to know so well in my vinyl collection. But the greatest treat of all is Julie London, who plays “the one who got away”, appearing like a ghost to Tom Ewell’s agent character. Having owned Julie is her Name for many years, losing it, then somehow gaining it back from my deceased uncle’s estate, I feel like Julie’s ghost won’t leave me alone either.

Because boobs (and milk) are such a running gag in this movie, I had to do a cream-based drink. The cherry flavor is sweet like Jerri, and it feels like a frothy confection in a glass—a cocktail version of Jayne’s final pastel evening gown. While watching The Girl Can’t Help It, I recommend drinking a Cherry Jordan.

Cherry Jordan

1 oz Vodka

1 oz Cherry Heering

½ oz White Crème de Cacao

1 oz Heavy Cream

Maraschino cherry

Combine vodka, Cherry Heering, crème de cacao, and cream in a shaker with ice. Shake to chill, then strain into a Nick & Nora glass. Garnish with a maraschino cherry.

Shot in glorious DeLuxe Color, The Girl Can’t Help It is a true feast for the eyes. The costumes and sets pop like a Powell & Pressburger picture, as if The Red Shoes had been directed by the guy who drew Looney Tunes. This movie is campy, fun, and surprisingly clever, and it’s the perfect way to celebrate a woman who was all these things, and more. Cheers!

Action/Adventure/Heist

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

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Image credit: The Lost World: Jurassic Park, 1997

Happy Jurassic Week to all who celebrate! Before I slide into my seat for Jurassic World Rebirth, I need to re-watch the six other films that came before. I’ve already covered Jurassic Park and Jurassic World on the blog, so now it’s time to reminisce about the film Steven Spielberg probably wishes he could forget: The Lost World: Jurassic Park (Disc/Download).

Before I get too far ahead of myself, I should say that I really do like this movie. I don’t find any of the Jurassic films unwatchable, though of course some are more successful than others. What keeps The Lost World from being as iconic as Jurassic Park is the convoluted script and heavier reliance on CGI over practical effects. CGI just wasn’t “there” yet in 1997, and the result looks hokey by today’s standards. However, I can overlook it because scene-stealer Jeff Goldblum is back as Dr. Malcolm, with an unexpected daughter in tow—a daughter who is also an aspiring gymnast and uses her parallel bar routine to knock out a Velociraptor???  Like I said, convoluted script. I enjoy watching Julianne Moore and Vince Vaughn give emergency medical care to a baby T-Rex, and the scene of mamma and daddy Rex attacking their trailer is fantastic. Also, the miniature dinosaurs that wear out their prey before moving in for the kill is a fun introduction to the canon. I’ve often had nightmares where a dozen cats or chihuahuas are clawing at me, so this plays into my existing fear of tiny creatures.

Because the movie takes place in the Costa Rican jungle, it seems like a great opportunity for a tropical rum cocktail. This is a variation on the traditional Last World, substituting in Rum and Yellow Chartreuse. While watching The Lost World, I recommend drinking a Lost Word cocktail.

Lost Word

2 oz Aged Rum

1/2 oz Yellow Chartreuse

1 oz Lemon Juice

3/4 oz Simple Syrup

Mint (garnish)

Combine liquid ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake to chill, then strain into a chilled coupe glass. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint.

The final act of The Lost Island veers into King Kong territory, as the T-Rex is drugged and brought by ship to the port of San Diego. I love any monster movie where the creature roars against the backdrop of a city skyline and tosses over taxicabs, so if this was Spielberg’s nod to classic films, it sticks the landing. The Lost World may not be a “classic” itself, but at least it gives the people what they want: dinosaurs and Jeff Goldblum. Cheers!

Uncategorized

The Right Stuff

LizLocke4 Comments
Image credit: The Right Stuff, 1983

No matter how old I get (truth: I got a little older today), the history of space travel will always be fascinating to me. The fact that there were people brave enough to strap themselves to a bomb and hope for the best, all in the name of scientific progress and patriotic bragging rights, is truly wild. This week’s film The Right Stuff (Disc/Download) was the first film to ignite my interest in the 1960s Space Race, and I still carry the torch.

At over three hours long, this movie has always felt more like a miniseries than a feature film. It has a mostly “Hey, it’s that guy!” cast, with the exceptions of Ed Harris as John Glenn, Dennis Quaid as Gordon Cooper, and a dreamy Sam Shepard as sound barrier-breaker Chuck Yeager. I like that it takes us from the early days of post-WWII test pilots to the original Mercury astronaut program at Cape Canaveral, and finally to the formation of the Johnson Space Center in Houston. Apollo 13 picks up where this film leaves off, and that’s as it should be. There’s enough material with the Mercury Seven, and the strange reality show they inhabited, to warrant the narrower focus. The movie may not be 100% historically accurate, but it tells a compelling story of man and country striving for greatness. The word “great” has certainly lost its meaning over the last ten years, but I think pushing against the bounds of technology, science, and even the atmosphere itself qualifies.

I’ve already featured a classic Saturn cocktail on Cinema Sips for the sci-fi fantasy Logan’s Run, however I’ve been wanting to play around with this drink for a while. Though traditionally made with gin, I’m trying it with vodka today, since the Soviet Union played such a pivotal role in nudging our American space program to fruition. Nothing like a little competition between petty bureaucrats to get things done. While watching The Right Stuff, I recommend drinking a Sputnik.

Sputnik

1 ½ oz Vodka

½ oz Lemon Juice

½ oz Passion Fruit Syrup

¼ oz Velvet Falernum

¼ oz Orgeat

1 oz Sparkling Wine

Lemon Twist + Cherry (garnish)

Combine vodka, lemon juice, passion fruit syrup, falernum, and orgeat in a shaker with ice. Shake to chill, then strain into a martini glass. Top with sparkling wine, and garnish with lemon twist and cherry.

Although I have mixed feelings about the current space program (I don’t love that we’re sending billionaires and pop stars up there for ten minute larks, and I also don’t love the environmental impacts this has wrought on my state), I do think it’s essential to keep striving for new knowledge. As I conclude this trip around the sun and prepare to start the next one, I can’t help but think of John Glenn orbiting the Earth, eyes full of wonder. I hope this next trip brings a little of that magic and hope back. Cheers! 

Comedies

Summer School

LizLocke2 Comments
Image credit: Summer School, 1987

Congrats to all the teachers out there for making it through another school year! It hasn’t been an easy one (certainly not here in Gilead… er, Texas), but hopefully, you’ll be spending the summer sipping cocktails or mocktails in a Hawaiian shirt and not teaching remedial English like Mark Harmon in this week’s pick, Summer School (Disc/Download).

A movie that was on heavy television repeat during my formative years, Carl Reiner’s Summer School effectively scared me into getting good grades. If the alternative was taking summer classes with jocks, strippers, and a guy named “Chainsaw”, I’d keep that GPA up.  Even as an adult, the scene with the rabid bunnies is horrifying. Nevertheless, being married to a teacher has made me appreciate the heart behind the movie. Mr. Shoop thinks he just has to do the bare minimum in order to keep his gym teacher job, but in the end, all he really wants is for these kids to succeed. Success is not about teaching them to ace the final exam; it’s about helping them become better humans. Getting them to focus and study is part of that, but teachers do so much more. They are therapists, career counselors, surrogate parents, and sometimes, Lamaze coaches. Teachers may get summers off, but it’s because they’re burnt out from doing at least five other jobs throughout the rest of the year.

I’m slightly in love with Mr. Shoop’s beach bungalow, and totally in love with all his Hawaiian shirts. He may not have gotten to take that dream Hawaiian vacation, but he still lives an enviable life by the ocean. Lean into those summer beach vibes with this SoCal Spritz.

SoCal Spritz

1 oz Malibu Coconut Rum

2 oz Pineapple Juice

½ oz Lime Juice

2 oz Prosecco

1 oz Soda Water

Dried Pineapple Slice (Garnish)

In a shaker with ice, combine Malibu rum, pineapple juice, and lime juice. Shake to combine and chill, then strain into a hurricane glass filled halfway with crushed ice. Top with Prosecco and soda water, and garnish with dried pineapple slice.

I like to think Chainsaw and Dave became cinema darlings after attending Mr. Shoop’s summer school, eventually making their own horror masterpiece. Maybe they bonded with Guillermo Del Toro. Maybe Dave still wears that leopard beret. Maybe those bunnies are going to haunt me until my final breath. Cheers!

Action/Adventure/Heist · Classic Films

Mutiny on the Bounty

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Image credit: Mutiny on the Bounty, 1935

For swashbuckling fun and a trip to Hollywood’s version of the South Seas, you can’t beat 1935’s Mutiny on the Bounty (Disc/Download). Pair it with a coconut-laced Tiki beverage and make believe you’re on the bow of a ship with the wind in your hair…or is that the hurricane gale of a revolution?

Starring Clark Gable as compassionate seaman Fletcher Christian, and Charles Laughton as corrupt bully Captain Bligh, this is a terrific adventure film full of high-stakes drama and ocean vistas. For me, the main selling point is Clark Gable in a low-cut blouse (the way it sets his shoulders off… oof), but it’s also super satisfying to watch a man with morals defeat someone rotten to the core. Christian’s mad as hell and he’s not going take it anymore!! The ultimate reward here is freedom from tyrannical dictators, and with any luck, this seaman and his blouses can retire in peace to a thatched hut and an endless supply of coconuts. Would that we all could.

Although this movie was made during the start of the Polynesian craze (both in Hollywood films as well as nearby Don the Beachcomber’s), this week’s drink hails from the 1970s. My version, while not 100% authentic, includes some of the flavors mentioned in the movie, such as Brandy and coconut, so I have to believe Donn Beach would approve. After all, it sells the fantasy! While watching Mutiny on the Bounty, I recommend drinking a classic Tradewinds cocktail.

TRADEWINDS

1 oz Black Spiced Rum

1 oz Brandy

1 oz Apricot Liqueur

1 ½ oz Coconut Cream

1 oz Lemon Juice

2 cups Crushed Ice

Combine all ingredients into a blender. Blend for about 5-10 seconds, then pour entire contents into a Pilsner glass. Garnish with a lemon wheel and inside-out cocktail umbrella to signal a strong wind!

After filming on Catalina wrapped, the sets were turned into a Tiki bar named Christian’s Hut, bringing the magic of the movie to life, one drink at a time. I like to imagine Clark Gable would have enjoyed a highball or two, while wearing one of those low-cut blouses. Cheers!

Action/Adventure/Heist

Hackers

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Image credit: Hackers, 1995

I love movies that serve as time capsules of a particular era, so when the opportunity to watch 1995’s Hackers (Disc/Download) came to me, I embraced it wholeheartedly. I assumed the acting would be bad, the special effects laughable, and the technology quaint. But the soundtrack and style…now that would be worth my time. 

Was I right in my assumptions? Yes and no. The actors (with the exception of Fisher Stevens and his unfortunate facial hair) are engaging, in the way that young celebrities juuust before they’ve broken out often are. There’s a star quality to Angelina Jolie even if this particular script doesn’t allow her talents to soar. She’s all red-eyeshadow-and-punk-wardrobe as teen hacker Acid Burn, existing on a separate ethereal plane of coolness. Likewise, Jonny Lee Miller with his roller blades and bleached hair make actual hackers seem a lot sexier than they probably were at the time. And that’s the essence of Hackers: it’s not particularly accurate, either in terms of high school representation or hacker culture, but it captures a fantasy of both. And as with most things, I tend to enjoy the fantasy more than reality. How do you make large data transfers and floppy discs seem exciting? By playing some Electronica and letting Matthew Lillard loose on an unsuspecting audience.

The teens in this movie attempt to hack the “Gibson” supercomputer, which seems like a great opportunity to drink a Gibson cocktail. This version is a little dirty, since everyone seems to be chasing a stolen “garbage file”.  While watching Hackers, I recommend drinking a Dirty Gibson.

Dirty Gibson

2 ½ oz Gin

½ oz Vermouth

1 tsp Onion Brine

Pickled Red Onion (garnish) Note: I made my own pickled onions for this, but they are also sold commercially.

Combine gin, vermouth, and onion brine in a shaker with ice. Stir to chill, then strain into a coupe or martini glass. Garnish with a pickled red onion.

Overall, I enjoyed Hackers. It’s nice to watch a version of hacking where some teenager just wants to broadcast reruns of The Outer Limits instead of stealing all our data and sending it to Russia. Those were the days. Cheers!

Classic Films · Dramas

A Place in the Sun

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Image credit: A Place in the Sun, 1951

This week, I’m in the mood for beautiful gowns, retro bathing suits, a Tiki dinner party at the lake, and maybe a little murder. A Place in the Sun (Disc/Download) satisfies all these cravings, making it my perfect summer watch.

You’ve probably seen the dress designed by Edith Head and worn by Elizabeth Taylor—the one with the dozens of tiny white flowers covering the bust.

You may have also seen the funny gif of Elizabeth collapsing into a heap on her bedroom floor (director George Stevens must have had a thing about her suddenly fainting because he made her do it again in Giant). But what you might not already be familiar with is the nuanced performance turned in by Montgomery Clift, who makes us question our own ideas of right and wrong; of guilt and innocence.

George Eastman starts out with a menial job at his uncle’s bathing suit factory, determined to work hard and earn a promotion one day. But when he begins an empty affair with his poor, vulnerable co-worker (Shelley Winters) while secretly pining for wealthy socialite Angela Vickers (Elizabeth Taylor), he loses a bit of our sympathy. And yet… there’s a part of me that just wants Shelley to go away so he can be with the dazzling one. And boy, does Elizabeth dazzle, with her eyelashes and her gowns and her speedboats. The director often shoots her in close-up, and it has a hypnotizing effect on the audience. We would do anything to see more of her; of course George would feel the same.

I knew this was probably a champagne movie, and definitely a martini movie, but I didn’t realize it’s also a Tiki movie! It makes perfect sense the wealthy family in this would throw a Polynesian-inspired dinner party, as the film was made during the height of the South Seas craze. Complete with leis and pineapple serving bowls and a live steel guitar player, it’s like the characters all decamped to Trader Vic’s for the night. Let’s celebrate this fabulous turn with a Tiki variation on the Vesper martini. While watching A Place in the Sun, I recommend drinking a Loon.

Loon

2 oz London Dry Gin

¼ oz Cocchi Americano

¼ oz PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur

Stir all ingredients together in a shaker with ice, and strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with a twist of lemon and a flower.

The novel this film is based on is titled An American Tragedy, and indeed the film is a tragedy, despite its wistful title change. It declares that the one making the bathing suits will never be the one wearing the bathing suits; that the American Dream is a myth for so many. Seventy-four years later, we’re still following the same old script.